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I am really worried about my husband!!!
He wanted me to go to a therapist so I told him I would go if he was gonna go so we said we would both go we went there and gary(therapist) asked about the miscarriage he totally freaked out I have never seen that side of him I was scared because he was a whole new person for a while. He started yelling at the therapist and it was just random giberish he was talking about things I didn't even know about he started talking about iraq and he was shaking it was like he wasn't there. I don't know what to do he hasn't said much to me since then other then I love you and goodnight and he asked me if I got the mail but thats it. I am scared I don't feel like I know him anymore.
My short answer is that he probably has PTSD and should see a therapist by himself. He could also benefit from spending some time with a group of veterans who have been through the same things he has. My husband has PTSD and talking to people who have been there and understand. My husband suggests that he go to the local Vet Center. It's for veterans and active duty and they should have an office in every city/town.
Thank you for your advice I was worried and didn't really know what to say to him and I felt bad because just hearing all the stuff he said about it just made me realize how horrible it is and I wanted to help him but I didn't know how to without makin it worse.
I know how you feel. I don't think there is much you can say. Sometimes listening is really all you can do. It sucks and it makes you feel helpless and stupid, but it's just not something that you or I know anything about and nothing we would say would help. There are so many times I know my husband wants to talk and so many times I know he needs support, but I have no idea what to do. I wasn't there, I don't even know what the Marine Corps is like. So I just feel like there's nothing I can contribute, nothing I can say to make it better.That's why the Vet Center has been such a huge help for my husband. He can go talk to therapists who were in the military themselves. At the very least they understand the military, but a lot of them have been to war too, so they really know what it was like and can really help people through things. And they have groups too which is nice because it shows that no one is alone in what they're going through.
Yeah I wish that I could help him and he would talk to me but hes so stubborn and won't talk at all. Even when it comes to simple things like taking out the trash or getting the mail he just sits there like ''I will in a minute'' and I hear that a thousand time before he listens but I guess his flaws are one of the things I love about him. He was in some kind of support group before but after caitlyn was a few months old he quit going. I sat him down and we talked and he said he was sorry if he worried me but hes fine I know hes probably not fine but hopfully if he goes to a therapist or something it will make him feel better.
Hello so I went thru a miscarrage aswell. & I now I realize that there are things that men go thru that us ladies just don't. Theyr'e much better at hiding there feelings & we think it's because they don't care or understand. But they deal with things different. They're hurting just as we are! However since they don't cry or break down it's very hard for us to see what is really going on.. If you love him which you clearly do, try to understand he is hurting too. Look up a Reiki class for your self & him! You and him have been true hell, & once you have a baby which I'm sure you will it gets harder cause then your goin to have to work even harder with eachother because your going to have a tiny too!! ( and I don't know it you pray, but I had to start because life is just hard).. Hang in there love is worth fighting for...