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I don't wanna ask this its personal but I need advice..
Normally sex is painful and has been since I had a miscarriage and its beeen a while now so I don't know why. Sex is starting to less painful but lately my husband has been really rough, I acually ripped down there from it. My husband is very dominate but never with me or caitlyn he still treats caitlyn like a princess but I don't know why hes doing this. I hate to go into detail but I will. He pushes me onto the bed, he has said mean names to me during hes being aggressive and totally out of character. I think it could be that he feels out of control and he can't control his life but he thinks that by controlling me that he will feel like he is in control.... what should I do?
My husband is very laid back and not controlling at all and hes a gentle person, but during sex most men can get aggressive or dominate and even controlling. I wouldn't pay much attention to it because I don't think he means to, but explain to him that hes hurting you. If hes controlling anyways then its to be expected that hes controlling in the bedroom, Talk to him about everything and find out why he does it. No matter advice we give you its not gonna help if you don't talk to him and work it out yourself.
You need to talk to him about this. He's hurting you and that's not acceptable. If you are still seeing a therapist together you should bring it up there as well. No matter how out of control he may feel it is not ok for him to hurt you.There are times when things aren't especially comfortable for me, especially because I'm 33 weeks pregnant and nothing is ever comfortable when I'm this huge. But even if my husband and I are in the middle of sex, if something hurts or isn't comfortable I don't hesitate to tell him. He doesn't want to hurt me. We both want the experience to be as pleasurable as possible because it's not just sex, it's about us connecting physically and sharing our love in that way. You shouldn't be afraid to tell him to stop, to ask him to change positions , or anything like that. And if your husband is so controlling that you are afraid, you need to think about whether or not this relationship is the best thing for you. You need to feel comfortable and safe in your marriage.
I don't think he would start to abuse me, its only during sex and this started about 1 week ago and I told my therapist about it they told me to talk to him.
Most abuse doesn't start as full-blown abuse. It starts slow, that's why women put up with it and don't realize how out of control things can get. I'm not saying that's what's going on with you and your husband, but you do need to be aware of what is going on. There is no reason he should ever hurt you and there is no reason you shouldn't feel comfortable expressing your feelings.
I talked to him about it and he said he wasn't trying to hurt me and he thought I liked him being aggressive like that,I was mostly worried because that wasn't like him, hes normally the kind of guy that would ask me every few minutes if he was hurting me. After we talked he felt bad, everything is normal now though thanks for your advice.