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Sometimes it's nice to get advice from experts with a lot of letter degrees behind their names, but other times, you just need to hear what another parent (with a M.O.M. behind her name) has done that has worked. You've got questions? These moms have answers.

I have decided to get back with sam.

6 answers
I made a post saying we ere gonna get a divorce, but it was just over a stupid argument because he wanted to have another baby and I was already aggravated so when he mentioned it I flipped out on him and told him''I have to stay home and cook and clean and take care of our daughter all the time and I'm not complaining I love her but if you want a baby how about you get big and fat and uncomfortable for nine months and see how many kids you want after that!!".Then he goes on to say "I love you too much to get knocked up and yell at you all the time,atleast one of us cares" and then I was like "Okay so you want a baby but you don't want me to have it because I yell to much I'm so sorry that you don't understand what it's like to have your hormones racing constantly" then he said ''I never said that but now that you mention it your not exactly pleasant to be around, and It's not my fault I'm not a girl and I don't know what it's like to be pregnant I just help create the babies I don't carry them'' so then I told him to get out if hes gonna be an ass so he was like " okay whatever be that way".We decided to try to work it out because we really do love eachother, were just both stubborn. Plus caitlyn really needs both of her parents in her life and we can't let one stupid thing effect our baby. I know your thinking the whole is crazy!!! Is there anything to help us not argue?

answers (6)

You are both young and in a stressful situation. You have had a long year with the miscarrigaes and raising a baby. You need need to work on talking things over and neither of you getting too hot under the collar. Try not to place blame and say explain your feelings and how things make you feel. But do not accuse him of making you feel any way.  Try to find someone to talk to both of you together. A counselor  or therapiest because that will help you open up lines of communication. Men do not understand what pregnancy is like and he may want a big family with the kids really close which is a lot of work on you.  You need to make sure your relationship and health are in good places before you add another member to the family. I think that 2 parents are good. But only good if the relationship is healthy. Your kid(s) will grow up watching you and learning what a family is from how you treat each other. If you are always yelling and fighting that is not a good environment for anyone. If you get along better serperated and can still provide for your daughter and give her everything she needs then that could be better too. She may not see both of you everyday but if she knows you both love her that would be all that mattered. You need to do what is right for your family. Try to get some help to learn how you can better communicate with your husband. I was married young (19, turned 20 two month later) and it is tough because you are still changing and figuring out life. I had my daughter when I was 24 and we had been married 4 1/2 years. You need to be able to talk to your husband to make things work. Talk and not get mad, be open to things and not affraid that he will get mad. Hope you can find the help you guys need and get on a good path.
I get mad over everything and most of our arguments are my fault, I feel bad because he's trying so much to control his anger and I always push his buttons. I love him to death and we don't argue all the time it's just I get aggravated over ridiculous stuff and I have a short temper. We are both going to therapy but not together. I think if we went to therapy it could help alot, I think I need to just have more patience and realize that it's not his fault that I am aggravated.
Your husband has an incredibly stressful job and from what you've said is most likely dealing with PTSD. You have to be the one to keep thing calm and under control. You absolutely cannot start arguments and if he's in a bad mood you need to be careful about what you say and how you say it. I understand it can be difficult, my husband has PTSD and he gets angry over the littlest things. But, I know it's not him and it's not always something he can control so I simply do my best to not make it worse. There are plenty of times when I'd love to tell him to F off, but I don't because I know it won't help anything. As far as another baby goes, you should probably give yourself more time to recover from your miscarriages. Explain to your husband that you want to give your next baby the best chance possible of making it full term and that neither of you can deal with another miscarriage.
I know I should try to be more understanding but sometimes I can't help it he can be sooo annoying!! I have tried to explain that I don't want another baby yet, and I wanna wait untill caitlyns potty trained, cause the money we pay on diapers is as much as our rent by the end of the year. I feel bad because he is trying really hard to not flip out about the smallest things and I feel like I am making it harder, but what kind of relationship would we have if we didn't talk and express ourselfs.
You need to be able to express yourselves, but you also need to know when it's appropriate to do so. When my husband is in a bad mood or is already yelling about something I know it's not the time to air out all my frustrations. I know that it's a waste of time to make the situation worse. If there is something I need to say I wait until he's calmed down. If your husband is making a big effort to keep himself under control you need to do the same thing, regardless of how upset you may be. The bottom line is that is just doesn't help anything and most of the time it makes things worse.
i remember when you posted something about him wanting you to consider adoption during your last pregnancy. i can't say i blame him for feeling stressed about the pregnancy of 6 when you ended up pregnant only 3 months after your daughter, caitlyn was born. now he wants another baby after you had all those miscarriages? damn....he needs to make up his mind about having kids.

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