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Im THAT mother now!!!

5 answers
My son, ayden, is 14 months old and has recently began a screaming phase. i know he's only doing it to get attention and so for the most part i ignore him. telling him to stop over and over is only going to give attention to the bad behavior and make him want to do it even more. So as me and ayden sat in the DMV for the second hour this morning i looked over at him and he was screaming at the wall. loud, could hear him at the other end of the DMV, screams as he sat in his chair other wise being a complete angel. as i looked around at the other people, some smiling and some frawning at my son, i noticed i had become the mother who lets her child scream in public and ignores him. when did i become that mother and should i be ashamed when i know that if i let him get his screaming out now, even in public to a wall, this annoying phase will end alot quicker then if i snip at him every time he does it. Shame in his behavior or pride for hangin in there through the screams? what is a mother to think?

answers (5)

The people smiling were smiling because they are parents or caretakers themselves and know you can't do much to stop him.  You don't need to worry about them; they're entirely in your corner.  The people frowning have never spent time with a toddler, so their opinion doesn't count (and shouldn't!).  I woudn't worry about them; their day is coming, or maybe never, and either way, their opinions are moot.  You're right that ignoring the behavior is the quickest way to stop it, and far more effective than lashing out at him.  My son gets into "screeching" phases, and I will usually cover his mouth (gently) with my hand and firmly say, "No screeching!"  It takes a couple of repeats, but he'll get it eventually, stop screeching for a day or week, and then pick it up again.  Someone once told me that it takes 25 repeats before a toddler will understand what you're telling him/her.  (No idea how many more it takes before they comply!)  I say don't be ashamed; be proud that you're hanging in there and doing great. Good luck!
i think azriona has summed it all up. i agree with everything shes said. dont you worry! you're doing great just by asking the question and getting opinions from other moms...that shows that you care, and those ppl who were frowning dont know the whole situation or you. good luck!
My suggestion is: if he starts screaming tell him in a very nice calm voice "we cannot scream here, people are working" or something of the like. if he ignores you. let him scream. don't worry about the people staring. when he is done screaming tell him you are glad he is ready to be a nice boy and has stopped screaming. go ahead and repeat that this is not the place to scream. Inside means inside voices. take him to a park or for a walk and let him scream. tell him now we are outside in a more appropriate place lets hear how loud you can scream. and let him go for it. you are definitely doing the right thing by ignoring his behaviour! Keep up the good work! 
My son did this for a while. At home we would ignore it and that helped but in public I would make a point of telling him to stop, that we don't scream, etc. Then I would ask him what he needed. He didn't usually scream just for attention, he did it because he wanted something. If it was appropriate I would let him run around or play with toys and that usually did the trick. A bored baby will do whatever they can to stop being bored! Or, I would give him a sippy cup or snack.
There is a time and a place for this. Ignoring him at home or is fine, but in public, especially a place of business is not the time to pretend his screaming isn't happening or affecting those around you.  People are trying to conduct business and it's rude to let this go on.  I understand where you are coming from and what you are trying to accomplish, but children also need to learn discipline and respect. I see that he is still very young, but it's not too early to teach these things.

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