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I'm scared..

9 answers
All my life I have had irrational fears, at 12 I thought I was dying of aids before I had even had sex, At 13 I thought for sure I had cancer, And I remember being younger and worrying that I would get diarrhea so I wouldn't go anywhere. This is my newest fear and I guess it's been in my head for a while now I just never looked into it as much as I do now,I worry that I am gay. I remember being in kindergarden and I had the biggest crush on this kid Austin and then I remember liking this kid Justin in 1st grade, and around 10 I had a crush on this guy Logan, about a year ago I had a crush on Patrick my nephews friend. Or even now I am dating someone I love him, but it feels like we are slowly drifting apart. Going by my past I would consider myself straight, however I remember having a friend named Makayla when I was 5 and I thought she was so pretty and her little sister was so cute and she was perfect and had the life I wanted, so I pretended my baby doll was her sister kirsten and I would pretend I was her. And about a year ago I met this girl Madalynn and I loved her personality and I wanted to become her, or even my cousin Eileen I thought she was so pretty and perfect and I tried to act like her and be her.So sometimes I have feelings towards girls but it's mostly like I wanna be you type of thing I think. But lately I have been so worried about becoming gay, sometimes I trick myself into thinking I could like a girl because of it, there are sometimes when it's obvious to me that I like guys, and other times it's more difficult. I have talked to my mom but I think she doesn't know what to say anymore, and we are gonna go to a therapist and the doctor has already said I have a severe hormone in-balence that's why I was taking birth control. But just to point out I have had this fear before but I always known I wasn't gay so I could push it out of my head. But when I started taking the birth control it made me sick to my stomach so I stopped taking it, and fora few months afterward my periods were great other then cramps I wasn't upset all the time it was great, then about a month ago all this started, is it possible that the birth control messed up my hormones and confused the hell out of me? Or is it possible that I have always been gay and just never figured it out, can you become gay? And to tell you another story, when I was like 12 me and my neice would play house, she would be my husband and we could pretend to have sex she would lay on top of me ( not naked) and hump me pretty much, then we figured out it felt good so we kept doing it. We have always been close so you know it wasn't really awkward or anything untill now. And another thing I want to point out is I get turned on my lesbian porn, and like girls moaning. I think it's because I pretend like it's me but Idk, and sometimes I fantasize about being eatin out by girls when I masturbate, does that mean anything? I have noticed it doesn't really do much for me when I think about guys, I still notice hot guys and when I think of my life in the future I think of me marrid to a guy with kids, and the fact that I have always been attracted to guys says something right? And sometimes I imagine me having sex with guys and it turns me on. Do I sound gay to you? I don't think I am but is it possible. I consider myself straight but I still have that fear, is it just a crazy fear like all the other ones? I had a lesbian dream once does that mean anything??????? And I do notice pretty girls, but doesn't everyone???

answers (9)

Do you think I'm scared because I already know I'm gay and maybe I am scared of what poeple will think or something? Or is it just a crazy irrational fear about nothing...
I also have a theory, I started taking birth control because on my periods I would be literally suicidal, my hormones were crazy,Once I started taking it it made me really nausea, so of course I stopped taking it.. For a few months after I stopped taking it my periods were okay emotion wise, I had really bad cramps and my periods were longer but I was okay with that. Then starting a month ago all of this started, and at first I thought it was me just being hormonal and crazy, but it continued. So my theory is that the birth control caused this, okay if you think about it your hormones are what make you horny all the time, and they also tell you which gender you wanna have sex with. And if you takke away the hormones your confused not only is your sex drive gone but you don't know what you like anymore, and the birth control I took was known to cause a major decrease in your sec drive, so my idea is if I start taking another birth control it will go back to normal. Of course I won't take it while I'm pregnant because I know it would hurt my baby but I was wondering would it work?
I think you need to talk to your doctor.Your young, hormonal and pregnant, and i think you are worrying a bit too much, but I think it would benefit you to talk to a councillor or some sort of professional. At the very least to get some things off your chest. Try and relax a little all that worrying isnt good for your baby.
I know, I over think everything, and worry about things that I know can't possibly happen. I read something somewhere and suddenly think I am gonna die or something, and I know that this is just one of those things I came up with in my head. I still wanna go to a therapist to talk about things, but I think this is just a random fear that I came up with, just like all the rest.
It sounds like you probably aren't gay. But, even if you are, it isn't a big deal. I think right now you're really stressed about the situation you are in, and that's causing all of your thoughts to spiral out of control. From what you've described, it sounds like you admire other girls, but not that you're sexually attracted to them. But whatever the case, you do not need to be afraid of who you are. You need to love yourself and be happy with you are.
That's what everyone tells me, but that fact that I have always been attracted to guys tells me that I am not gay, if you ask anyone that is gay they will tell you they have always been attracted to the opposite sex. It is really stressful and plus I have been really worried about my relationship so I think that does have alot to do with it, I always hear stories about the guy leaving you alone and I'm so scared that it's gonna happen to me. I lived without a dad most of my life, my parents divorced when I was 2 and my dad died of cancer when I was 5, and I really want my child to grow up with a daddy. It's just really stressing me out to even think about that, I know how it feels to crave male attention, I have always wanted someone to give me that father figure and it just really sucks. And I think my opinion towards boys right now just isn't very clear, I don't even know how I feel about guys right now. My dad wasn't in my life, my boyfriend got me pregnant, life is difficult.. And now I'm rambling about it...
I think you just need to stop worrying about it. Ultimately, you are who you are, your sexuality is what it is. It really doesn't matter because it doesn't affect the kind of person you are. Who you love really isn't a big deal. Right now, you have much bigger things to worry about. Your primary concern should be the health of your baby. After that, you need to focus your energy on school. You absolutely have to finish high school, and you should go to college as well. (Trust me, do that as soon as you can, it only gets harder as you get older. I'm trying to go to college and raise three kids. It's rough.)
I am gonna finish high school, I am going to go into homeschool, and the way we have things figured out, I will watch the baby while Alex is in school and when he gets out of school he is gonna watch the baby so I can get my work done.College is always something I have kinda thought about, but for now that is like 4 years away and I don't know if I wanna do it for sure. I would like to have the experience but it might not be worth it if I never get to spend time with the baby. And everyone I know is telling me to stop freaking out about everything but I am just a worry wart all the time, I have always been like this.
you should not be scared, for sure you will see improvements. web-page

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