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I had a baby shower for my first pregnancy (my daughter) and tried to have one for my second (my son). I'm now pregnant for the third time and we'll be having a celebration of some kind for this baby. It won't be a traditional baby shower, no gifts (unless people really want to and then we'll accept gift cards or diapers). It will be coed so we probably won't be playing any silly games or anything, but we will be keeping the gender a secret so that it will be a big surprise when we reveal the nursery. We feel that each of our children are special and we want to celebrate them with our friends and family.
I had a baby shower with my first and plan to have a shower with any others I think you should.
That's a tricky question....some people would find it offensive that you have asked for gifts on a third child that you are having so shortly after having your first. You're very brave. A celebration and not a baby shower may not offend people but will more than likely produce the same results as an actual baby shower. Etiquette states that you shouldn't have another one but that is a personal preferance. I am preganant as well but my other child is 8 so I think the etiquette timeline is up. However my brother and his wife are having their 4th child in 4 years and no one came to the baby shower for the second baby because they didnt want to buy more things for someone who just had a baby even though it was a boy and the oldest is a girl.
If you want a shower, word the card as "please come to our celebration" and not baby shower. It makes you seem less needy for gifts. Maybe someone invited didn't know the second one didn't have a shower, so they may think you are needy. As a celebration, it should put a different thought into their heads such as you just want to celebrate the new life. And try to have someone throw it for you, not you throwing the party.That makes a difference too.