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its my baby spoil?

4 answers
my daughter is nine month old and am a stay home mother, she cries every time i put her in the playpen or her high chair, she wants to be in my arms all the time i don't know what to do. my sister babysitter for me yesterday for a few hours and told me she couldn't do anything in the house cause she wanted to be held plus shes sleeping in the bed with us i need help.

answers (4)

I'm a firm believer that it's not possible to spoil an infant - so my answer would be no, your daughter isn't spoiled.  She's just come to realize that if she cries, you'll pick her up, and that she gets to sleep in bed with you, because those are the precedents you've taught her. It's possible to break her of those habits, but that means you have to be firm about it.  Some parents do sleep in the same bed as their kids, and it works for them.  I don't, and it works for us.  You have to do what you're comfortable doing, and if you want to move her out of your bed and out of your bedroom, now is a good time to do it (it'll only get harder as she gets older). There's lots of ways to make the switch - you can go cold turkey and let her scream it out, or you can move her to her own room after she falls asleep.  You can sit with her in her own room, next to her crib, until she falls asleep, gradually moving further away every night until she's comfortable.  There's no right or wrong way - there's just the way that works for you.  Try several methods until you hit on one that seems to work better than the rest.  As for not carrying her around - nine months is when most babies start having stranger anxiety, so that's one reason why she might not be willing to go to anyone else.  That doesn't mean you have to hold her ALL the time.  When she's feeling particularly clingy, stop whatever else you were doing, sit on the floor with her, and play with her, read her books, build with her blocks, blow bubbles, anything.  She can sit in your lap, or next to you, but gradually, as she becomes more interested in what you're doing, she'll hopefully move a little further away and start to play.  It's tempting, but don't move away yourself just yet - let her get comfortable.  This will take some time, but you're basically teaching her to learn to play by herself - and trust me, when she's older and fully mobile, this is the BEST PRESENT you can ever give yourself.  It's not just about her playing by herself - it's about you going to the bathroom!  Washing the dishes!  Having a telephone conversation! Good luck!
I'd say get her used to sleeping out of your bed as soon as possible. When she starts crawling, she just might crawl over someone and fall out of bed. Or roll under someone and get hurt.If she cries, don't always pick her up right away. Drag it out a little bit before you go get her. She has to get used to the idea she can't always be held. It will get worse when she starts walking and is always clinging to your legs. But remember to still give her mommy and me time :)
It's completely normal for babies to experience separation anxiety at a few stages during their development. This is most likely what your daughter is going through. During the day when you need to get things done do what you can to keep her near you. If you have to clean the kitchen put her in her high chair so she can still see you and you can talk to her. You can also get her used to being by herself by waiting to pick her up when she cries. Just wait a minute or two at first and gradually increase the time that you wait. As far as getting her to sleep on her own goes, that may be difficult. I co-slept with both my kids and will do the same with my next. What worked for me was sleeping in the same room with my baby while they slept in the crib. I'd put the baby to sleep in the crib for their first stretch of sleep (until they were sleeping through the night) and when they'd wake up I'd bring them to bed with me. Once they were sleeping through the night I went back to sleeping exclusively in my own room. 
I shared a bed with my first and swore never to do it again. He didn't get completely into his own bed til he was like 6. Every person is different though. if you are wanting her in her own bed I suggest you start the transfer now. as far as her crying when you put her in the playpen etc is it not safe to put her on the floor? allow her to be as close to you as possible without holding her. sit in front of her on the floor and play with her or roll a ball back and forth etcIn stead of rushing to her to pick her up as soon as she cries let her cry a little (I mean like 5 mins, nothing too big) instead of picking her up right away try and talk to her, play peekaboo, something that she likes that can get her to stop crying WITHOUT picking her up. instead of a highschair or playpen do you have something "FUN" she can do? an exersaucer? jolly jumper etc. something that can keep her entertained.Good luck!

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