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Man problems!

4 answers
My husband complains about everything! How much childcare is, how much my mother buys our daughter, how little sex we have(we have a 6 month old!), how bored he is because I go to bed early, how much he hates going to work, how he has no free time anymore etc etc. I have always been pretty laidback about things, but this has got to stop. I can't keep listening to how bad he thinks he has it. I have always done everything for him! He has never once had to pay a bill by himself, buy his mother a gift for Christmas or Mother's Day, do laundry, dishes, not to mention feed, bathe and put or baby to sleep every night! I've asked him nicely to please think positive and I've also told him I would leave him if he can't get it together. I really don;t want to leave do i get him to compromise with me?

answers (4)

I think every marriage goes through the bad years and good years phases.  I have been married since I was 21 for 14 years now, and trust me there were times I wanted to throw him out the window on his head.  Sit your husband down and tell him how his constant complaining is driving you crazy.  Tell him it makes you feel as though your efforts and the life you share together is subpar.  I think everyone forgets how lucky and prosperous their lives are until something tragic happens.  Ask him what would be worse:  Your life as it is now or the possiblity that you and the sweet child could be gone tomorrow?  You can compromise by making seperate times for yourselves to do what it is you all want to to do.  Date nights, going out with friends, etc. can take alot of stress out the "baby days."  This part of time is hard, but it does get easier as they grow older.  Then you miss them being small.  It is a viscious cycle. Advise him that his problems are fleeting, and that he has to appreciate you and the gift you two have been given together.  If he cannot come to terms with that, then you maybe better off giving him the door to learn it the hard way.  Trust me, it can be worse.  My youngest son (8 now) was diagnosed last year with a brain tumor, and both my boys are autistic.  We have been thrown curveballs in life that are unbelievable, but it has made us grow as a family and as individuals.  How I wish I could go back and redo everything to the fullest of my ability.  He cannot live in the negative, and neither can you or your daughter.  Don't let life teach him the hard way.  Sometimes a push from you is all he will need.  He just needs to remeasure what is more important to him.  My best wishes to you and your family. 
Thanks for the encouraging words. I really hope we can work it out because I really want our daughter to grow up in a household with two loving parents. I try so hard to keep a smile on my face and keep going. It does really hurt when he tells me he is bored or unhappy. Sometimes I think he wants to leave ME but not our daughter...
I think alot of people do not realize when you decide to have a child together, in essence, you are agreeing to give up your lives in order to provide a life for someone who didn't ask to be here.  Sometimes you feel lost, you feel as though you do not have a life.  I am sure he is feeling that.  We all do.  However, you have to make that choice as to what is more important:  Your identity, or your family.  I felt trapped myself, and I wanted to rebel against all the decisions I had made.  Once you think about all you have to lose, it doesn't seem worth it.  I think occasional breaks every week to let yourself be free of the responsibilites would help your relationship and his inner feelings.  You do not want to take out your frustrations on the baby, so you take them out on each other.  You guys need to talk this out.  I think you will have what you want.  The two loving people in a family that loves life and knows what it means to have the honor of being with each other.  Spice things up with him.  I know you are tired.  Believe me the exhaustion can be unbearable.  No one can be June Cleaver.  However, you need his closeness just as bad as he needs yours.  You'll make it girl.  Just weather this small storm and talk to him about your feelings and his. 
Remember, men are stupid. I've been with my man almost seven years and I've given up on training him. Heck, this pregnancy is almost over and I'm still trying to figure out how to make him change the litter box.

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