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Sometimes it's nice to get advice from experts with a lot of letter degrees behind their names, but other times, you just need to hear what another parent (with a M.O.M. behind her name) has done that has worked. You've got questions? These moms have answers.

mostly single & pregnant

5 answers
This is a strange question, but I have barely come across articles upon it. I am almost more scared of asking because I dont want the judgements on single parenting, because I know they can be quite harsh. My boyfriend and I got together last summer, and decided to get engaged fast, and in this case, stupidly. I ended up pregnant around November, and now at 19 weeks, he had to move back to his home state to try to get his life together; which is literally across the USA completely, because if he didnt he wasnt going to be able to tie up lose ends, grow up, and be a good father, and be a dependable one, the plan is for him to come back but hes not really doing so well at getting his stuff togethre though, so who knows. Anyways, I am on a limited income for my own health reasons, the baby is fine and healthy, I am just lots of appointments and such. I do have help from friends and family. So financially and emotionally I will be fine with this child, my question is, if any of you had to be pregnant emotionally alone, missing that father - mother connection during pregnancy, and if you did, how did you get through it? I cant seem to fill the void of him not being around during this time, and I feel like Im not enjoying my pregnancy enough, with the whole sickness, and absent dad syndrome. I love my daughter already, and I have always wanted a child, adn was told I was infertile my whole teen years, I am over excited that I am pregnant, and that she is on her way.. But i miss the dad, and all I want is him here... If you were alone (without the father) during the pregnancy how did you deal with it, and what skills did you use to get through it?

answers (5)

i got married at 18 with my boyfriend seince i was 16 years old he got a job i was working at a resturant and we moved in together we were still in collage once we were out of collage i became a a makeup artist and he became a soldier and  then after a few years of being married we decided to have a baby and we had are daughter caitlyn and then when she was 2 months old i found out i was pregnant again and the whole reason im telling you all of this is because i dont know what its like not having my husband but i know what its like for my husband to be away and being alone with my  daughter caitlyn and being pregnant with baby number two
when i was pregnant the father was physically there so i don't know what you're going through. although i can tell you that sometimes even if the father is physically there he may not be good at being emotionally there! not really sure what his situation is with having to move back home but doesn't sound like he would be much help if he were around. remember that you're pregnant and your hormones are all over the place which can make you feel sad or down without a reason.  so stay strong, talk to someone you feel comfortable with and hang in there. do things for yourself that make you feel good and spend time with family and friends that make you feel good. hopefully the fathers absece now will be made up for when he gets himself together and can be there for you when your daughter is born. best of luck to you and your family. you're in my prayers! 
I was almost in the exact same situation as you... my baby's dad wasn't with me while I was pregnant... then my baby was 3 months premature, and he wasn't around for the whole experience of having a baby in the NICU for 2 months...  I was very angry at him for not being able to get his act together enough to be supportive and that I had to go through it all by myself... my parents were with me but it's not quite the same... as far as what I did to get through it, I tried to connect with other single moms and/or other women with unplanned pregnancies.  I leaned on my friends a lot.  You can do it.   My baby is now 5 months old and his dad still hasn't met him, but I still keep a little hope that he will get it together for his son.  If not, it will be his loss and my son and I will have a great life without him.  Stay strong.  Don't be afraid to cry.  You're not the only one in your boat, even if it feels that way.
Although now I am happy and pregnant with my second child with my wonderful fiance, with my first he is now almost 5yrs old I was also abandoned by the father of my child although the situation was different. We had been together for 2 years and when we found out I was pregnant he up and ran off, not only that but he started sleeping around ALOT and ended up knocking some random girl he had a fling with up 2! He would call everyonce in a while to ask how the baby was but that was about it, and to keep his parents mouth shut about the whole situation he stayed with that girl but they were ok with sleeping around on one another so it worked out for them. Also that girl would call me and leave me nasty voicemails and threaten me. Needless to say at the very end of the pregnancy he decided he wanted something to do with his child and was at the birth of our son and his g/f was pissed. He came around maybe twice and was never heard from again. It was really hard for me at first when he left me but after awhile I knew that all that mattered was that my family was there for me. I didnt completly get over everything until I stopped hearing from him all the way, by that point I was so fed up that I didnt care anymore. My now fiance is more of a father to my son than his father ever could have been and we are such a happy family with another precious bundle of joy on the way. So just remember that you have family and friends that love and care for you and really thats all you need. If he doesnt want to be there for you its his loss not yours because you can do it without him. Be strong and be a good mother thats the best thing you can do.
after roomates left us with a $700 power bill, my husband was forced to take his career on the road. he's a tattoo artist. he left even before i found out i was pregnant. we were away from each other until i was 4 months pregnant, while he traveled the country to make money to take care of us. i worked 2 full time jobs until i was 7 months pregnant. it was rough not having him there to comfort me when i had my head hanging in the toilet, etc, but we talked on the phone several times a day. sure, i got lonely, but i got through it, and so will you. if the babies father wants to be involved, then he will do everything it takes to make it happen. sounds to me like he's not ready to be a parent. good luck to you.

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