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my 7-year old girl's letter - should I be concerned?

5 answers
today my daughter's teacher sent me a letter that my 7-year old daughter wrote while playing with her friends. It said, Dear Jensen, thank you for giving me $1000. This is something sneaky! can you go to a restaurant and steal some food? if you do, then i will pay you $300. Sincerely, Becky. My husband and I were as much shocked as her teacher. We couldn't believe our eyes. So, I asked her what this letter is about. her story jumped here and there but here is the summary. When she came back from an afterschool class, there were a couple of boys playing and she asked what they were playing and if she could join. The boys told her that they were playing a game called "robber" where they try to take away other kids' snacks. So she joined and the boys took her snack away and she wrote this letter to another girl who she was playing with. I might be saying this because i am her mom and want to believe that she didn't actually mean everything she wrote on the letter - i just wished that she had no idea what she was writing about.... but she actually did know... but maybe wasn't able to realize that she shouldn't have written or thought about this letter even if it was just a game. Now, i am so devastated to know that such words as sneaky and steal were in her vocabulary and the idea of paying someone for stealing something was her genuine idea. I have talked to her that stealing something from someone even during the play is not something that she should do or even think of doing and that she should think first before doing something, writing something, saying something if she is supposed to or not. Should i be concerned that at age 7 (she just turned 7), she is writing such letter? I feel like i have failed in raising her as ethical/moral child.... what do i do? please help me...

answers (5)

Really it is a matter of being concerned. But first of all, take this incident as finding mistakes by proofreader. If you did not know it right now, the result would be differnt and far from solving. Yes I do believe it that it is very unethical but your child is incapable of realising it so, just start councelling her, give her enough time to let her think over her action, make her compelled to share everything with you before doing any work...Don't lose yourself, you have to win this battle...Thanksbabysitting age
I'm not dismissing their behavior but what I'm wondering is how the kids are even able to play this game if teachers are watching. Seems like if you were looking, you would notice children stealing each other's snacks. 
I think that your daughter probably got swept up in this strange "game".  I am sure that she is a sweet, well-raised little girl by the concern that you have for her.  My kids have come home and told me of things happening in the yard at recess that should never have occured.  In those cases I have contacted the teacher to let her know what is going on.  Thankfully, the problems were solved in this way.  I would sit with your daughter in private and ask her what she thought of this activity and what happened.  Keep talking and remember that she is just 7yrs old and trying to figure things out herself.  Best wishes!
I don't think your daughter is old enough to actually comprehend this "game" in the way that you do.   If you haven't already discussed with her the concepts of ownership and respecting other people's belongings in a concrete way, now is the time to start.  I'm sure you've taught her to share and she may have some misunderstanding leading from that.  As for the note, exactly how was this other seven year old supposed to get to a restaurant to steal anything at all?  And where was your daughter going to get $300?  Out of the $1000 Jensen gave her?  If either of them have this much money (joke) why would they steal anything?  It's this, so much as anything that tells me your daughter has NO IDEA what her note means.  You do not pay anyone $300 to steal food from a restaurant.  Have another talk with her.
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