You are here

Get Answers

Sometimes it's nice to get advice from experts with a lot of letter degrees behind their names, but other times, you just need to hear what another parent (with a M.O.M. behind her name) has done that has worked. You've got questions? These moms have answers.
 

My daughter and I had a conversation...

7 answers
OK so my 13 year old daughter walks downstairs and says "Hey Mom, how old were u when u lost your virginity?" So i tell her the truth and say "21" She goes "Ha I beat u!" What do I do?

answers (7)

Oh wow. My mom and I never really talked about sex. I am 26 and we STILL never talk about sex. The only reason they know I am not a virgin is because I had a baby! I think it would be a good idea to have her get a pap smear and STD test. Her OBGYN can talk to her about risks and safe sex etc. Maybe also get her on the Depo shot. I know it seems she is too young for this but better safe than a 13-yr-old mom.I work at a community health center and we see young, sexually active girls everyday and we get them on BC and make sure they understand about risky sexual behavior.It seems your daughter really wanted to let you know/talk about it because she initiated the conversation. Maybe she wants some guidance and that is her way of asking? Contact local hospitals and see if there are any classes available about sex for you and/or your daughter. Being proactive will let your daughter know you care.
wow...!! well fist of all its a good thing that she trust you enough to tell you, Im 18 years old and already have a 2 year old daughter and i wish that i would have been able to talk about that with my mom..!! maybe if i could have i wouldnt have gotten pregnant at such an early age..!! teens are always thinking "oh no that wont happen to me" or a commen thought is "oh if he pulls out i wont get pregnant...!!" or there young and wont even notice if the condom broke...!! i think you should talk to her about all the risks she runs, take her to a check up, and maybe even get her on birthcontrol because even though a baby is always a great blessing its such a huge responsibility and it changes are lifes completly..!!  I hope that when my daughter gets to that age shes that open with me...!!  well good luck
OKay I have to put this out there because no one else brought it up... but ask yourself how mature your daughter is"? Then ask her what she means by losing her virginity because just because most of us would interpret it one way doesn't mean she does, I knew a girl who thought she lost it by lying in bed with a boy fully clothed (she was 11 and it was 1995) but that was not that long ago, then if she did in fact engage in any sexual behavior you need to get her tested and find out who her "partner" was so that his or her parents can have the talk with them as well
No. 1 I would put her on bc after she sees a doctor. And get her tested for STDS and AIDS. Also, a pregnancy test is needed too before she goes on bc. Know that bc doesn't work with certain medicines. She shouldn't be doing it until she's married so she can support the child with her husband. I know too many teenage moms. The guy always denies it and the mom and her parents foot the million dollar bill of raising the child.No. 2 She shouldn't be having time alone with him unless it's in public. Have her go on dates to the mall, movies, miniature golf, etc. Don't give her opportunities to have sex at such a young age! Chauffeur and her boyfriend's parents should too.No. 3 Let her boyfriend's parents know the plan too.No. 4 I would have a talk about drugs and alcohol too. I would not let her go to unsupervised co-ed parties.
I wouldn't recommend the Depot shot. The side effects are too negative. I know this from personal experience. In fact, the military has banned it.
you deffinitely need to take her to the doctor asap. preg test, birth control. talk to her openly about sex. she initiated the conversation, and seems to be fairly comfortable with it. explain in detail the risks involved with having sex at her age. i would just give her a pill every morning with a vitamin at breakfast. watch her take it. don't just tell her. supervise her and the bf in the home, don't let them find opportunities to have sex. for example, going to the movies may sound harmless, but i know some people that have gotten busy in the bathroom. she's far too young to have a baby, and i know that you as a parent don't want to have to take on the responsibility of raising her baby too. i posted something on here called moms across america, feel free to read and comment. i'm not posting a you tube video just yet.

*DISCLAIMER
Parenting.com's Answers are provided by members of our community. While your fellow moms and our editors have plenty of great advice to offer based on their experience, it is not a substitute for professional medical help. Always consult a medical professional when seeking medical advice. All submitted answers are subject to the rules set forth in our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use