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My family keeps butting in.

4 answers
I am 13 weeks and 3 days. I am almost in my second trimester, and super excited about it. Now on to my problem. I went over to my sisters house for thanksgiving and we stayed there for a while because we had family coming in. And so my problem is, My sister is pretty much telling me I am gonna be a horrible mom. Now let me tell you about my sister. She has 3 kids, Kylie,14. Lucas,11. Sara,2. shes 37, her husband has a good job. You would think her kids have a pretty good life, but it's exactly the opposite. I do not doubt for one second that she loves her kids, but I don't think she's a good mom at all. She's way to lazy! Her oldest daughter stays up untill about 3am, her son around the same time. Her daughter Sara stays up untill like 4am. And then they all sleep untill like 2pm. When her son wakes up, he has cookies, ice cream, or reese cups. Her oldest daughter usually makes pizza rolls, or eats a sandwich. And her youngest daughter doesn't eat, if she does, it's a nutty bar. Moving on, her daughter Sara wears the same diaper almost all day. Her son doesn't know what letters look like, hes 11 and he can't read to save his life. Her oldest daughter won't go outside without her mom because she is afraid of people, at 14. Her son will get mad sometimes and throw things at people and hit them, and she does nothing about it. We had to leave because he got mad at me and almost kicked me in the stomach. Her oldest daughter usually takes care of Sara. I know my sister really cares about her kids, she loves them to death. And she does the best she can. But I don't think that she of all people has the right to judge me. I know I am young, but I also know that I could do a hell of a lot better than she is doin. Plus her daughter is one of those, "I wanna wait untill I am married and I hate everyone that doesn't agree with me" type of people. So obviously she and I have issues. How can I get them to back off? I understand that it's not the ideal situation but nobody is perfect. And in my eyes the perfect parent is someone who really genuinely cares about being a good parent, someone that really tries.

answers (4)

When your pregnant people always have opinions for you, doesnt matter if your 15 or 50. Nothing you can really do about it. 
FIrst of all, there is no perfect parent. You can try as hard as you can, do all the right things, but you will still make mistakes. Parenting is not an exact science. It has a steep learning curve, and you really learn as you go. It doesn't matter how many kids you have, you will constantly be learning new techniques and methods for raising them.And, like kelz said, it doesn't matter how old you are, everyone will have an opinion or some advice for you. You will be judged, sometimes silently, sometimes not. I'm doing a damn good job raising my kids (who are very well behaved in public) and people still feel the need to tell me, "Wow, you sure have your hands full!" And now that I'm pregnant with my fourth, it's definitely not going to stop. You just have to smile and laugh it off.You know what's best for you and you definitely seem to want to do the best for your child. You're already on the right track to being a good mom. Just make sure you keep reading books/websites about parneting and I'm sure you'll have enough knowledge to raise your child well.
Family unfortunatly has a good way of trying to tell you which and what way to do things. You just have to remember that what may of worked for their kids may not work for yours. Smile and say thank you and move on thats all you can do. Being a mom is a wonderful and challenging thing. Your child doesn't come with a manuel or a mute/volume button but as long as you love them and do the best you can when it comes to their health and wellness you will be fine. 
I just want to bring up a point that I think echoes part of what teengirl is saying. Just because a parent does their best, doesn't mean they are a good parent. Some people just aren't capable of properly caring for children, regardless of how much they try. My mom is a prime example of this, and it sounds like teengirl's sister may be another one. (Although, it sounds like her kids may be dealing with issues other than bad parenting. It definitely sounds like her son has behavioral problems, learning difficulties, and possibly autism.)

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