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my husband and i havent got along since our son arrived?

5 answers
Me and my husband havent had a good relationship since our son was born 8 mths ago. its like our son came between us i mean is that possible? any solutions? we split and should i just leave it be or work it out?

answers (5)

I am in a similar situation but my daughter is now 16 months. However I think the problems were already there, we just didn't realize they were so important probably because we didn't feel much committment to one another even if we have been together for 6 years and married by 2 and, as far as I know, we never cheated... A baby does change perspective on how we look at life and relationships.. and in my case I felt trapped and deceived. I continue to stay in this relationshp  because I do not have the courage to stay alone ( I know it would be very tiring, my husband helps a lot)  and the thought of having a another man in the house who is not my daugther's father just make me feel unconfortable... It would be great to know if anyone have had an happy ending from a similar situation! 
I am so sorry to hear you ladies are or have had problems, As a mother of 3 and another on the way I know it is hard, I am married twice, my oldest with my first husband, my second with a rebound and my 3rd and 4th with my current husband. My husband and I got in a hugh fight and the only thing that made sense he said is " everybody fights and argues " if you think things will be better else where, I was wrong. I did the single mother thing. It is harder than heck for alot of years, wondering if a man would accept me with two children by two men. If you still love your husband, I would suggest trying to take time for Just the both of you, find your center and work from there, you created a family, and maybe you both could work your way together. I'll be hoping for you.
My husband and I fought like crazy after my son was born!! We were both just exhausted and stressed!! We went and spoke to our pastor at church about it, so I would reccommend counseling. Mostly it was me being nervous and uptight about being a mother and taking it out on my husband! My husband and I were able to talk things out and stay together.  I will agree with cocoa though in that you should really ask yourself if the problems were there before the baby came along and maybe you just didn't want to see it.
Any new situation, especially newborns with their constant physical and emotional needs, will stress a relationship.  If there were already serious issues, it will bring them out.  If there were subtle issues, it will bring them out.  Dealing with and discussing how to deal with the new decisions of the new situation, also rob you of time you would have previously spent on maintaining or fixing your relationship.Now, specifically to a new baby...  Your body is going through TONS of changes, including weight, hormones, electrolytes, just in recovering/reverting from a pregnancy.  On top of that, there's often sleep deprivation and financial worries.  And the stress we put on ourselves trying to do everything right to get this little person off to a great start.  It's no wonder that our relationships suffer.My husband and I had to sit down and talk through the problems that we would have never seen if not for the baby.  (We had these problems before Baby, but never addressed them directly.)  It strengthened our relationship and brought us closer.  I'm not saying all of it is resolved, but just talking about it and knowing that the other person cares enough to work on it, means a lot in our marriage.As to when to call it quits...My husband is from a divorced family and has had a divorce himself.  He told me it doesn't matter how much YOU want the relationship to work, that building and maintaining a relationship takes two, and if the other person isn't interested, it isn't a relationship.My grandparents were immigrants who had an arranged marriage.  They treated each other with respect and did was was right for their children and for their family.  Emotions are, by nature, temporary, and starry-eyed love doesn't last forever. (would it be as highly prized if it did?)  Loyalty, respect, and trust go a long way in building a truly lasting marriage, filled with love and happiness.If you can't talk about the problems, is it you or them?  If it's you, you can do something about it.  If it's them, your answer on whether to stay or go, might already be decided and laying in front of you.
all above have the right track Go get counseling, religious leader and each other talk make a date so you can talk things out get a trusted family member to take the baby to their house for the night .

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