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Need advice PLEASE! I'm 37, boyfriend is 46 & I'm divorced w/3 Angels.

5 answers
I just found out I'm pregnant. My boyfriend & I moved into a relationship quite quickly...even share a beautiful home in the mountians. I have 3 beautiful children, whom I am in a very stressful custody battle with an abusive, millionare ex husband. I love my children so much, my heart hurts every day I am not with them. My boyfriend was told at the age of 30 that he had about a 0% chance of having children again. (Obviously a surprise to him!) I was laid off last year from a wonderful job, and have had such a difficult time finding another. My boyfriend's children are grown & has grandchildren the same age as my youngest. He sees this as a second chance, a new beginning. I'm terrified of my ex using this sudden pregnancy against me in court, as irresponsible & therefore having another ace in his pocket to use. My last two pregnancy's were difficult...gestational diabetes (and I've always had a good diet & remained thin), and both were born over a month early. My last pregnancy I was on bedrest from 28 weeks, and thankfully she held on to 34 weeks. With each pregnancy my cervix thinned faster & faster. SOOO, I'm a ball of emotions, stressed, confused & scared. I cannot imagine having another baby right now....but I've been through the alternative & I'm scared. I'm so fertile I swore I would have to ban sex altogether! Do not have anyone close to talk to, and God Bless my boyfriend, he's forgotten how emotional we get. I feel so alone & confused...any advice would be more than appreciated. Without my job I unfortunately lost my Health Insurance. To add insult to injury, sadly my BF's grandmother...who adopted him at birth...passed away on Mother's Day. According to my calculation...our baby was conceived that day...or a day before. All so much for me deal with....I hope I'm not alone. Thank you for your time & God Bless.

answers (5)

I would ask your doctor, if you are worried about your health through-out the pregnancy. As far as a custody battle goes, I was told a sibling could only help you, the courts don't like to split up siblings. So as long as your boyfriend isn't a criminal or anything he can't use a pregnancy against you. I hope every thing works out for you.
like the previous poster stated, your ex cannot use your pregnancy against you. if he's abusive, then you have that to use against him in court. my husband was supposed to be 100% sterile. his left testicle was ripped out by a german sheppard when he was 11 years old. i have endometriosis, and was told i would never get pregnant, but if i did, i would miscarry very early on. i carried my daughter until 37 weeks. so needless to say, we have a miracle child. take it easy, and relax. go apply for medicaid, so you have some type of insurance, if you cannot afford it otherwise. you will need proof of pregnancy when you apply. good luck with your situation. i hope that everything works out for you, sweetie. you are in my prayers.
Courts almost always give custody to the mother. I hope it goes that way for you, good luck.
fifty-fifty custody isn't that bad. It hurts like hell in the beginning but it does get better. But, I highly doubt that will happen. Usually courts give primary custody to the mother and only fifty-fifty if the dad pushes for it. Don't let the stress get to you. It will all work out in the end.
First of all, you need to stay calm. Stress is never good. If you're going to keep your baby there is nothing you can do but enjoy it. Don't worry about your custody battle. Getting pregnant doesn't reflect negatively on you, sometimes these things happen despite our best efforts at preventing them. 

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