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Need some advice, VforVenture
Our youngest children are the same age, and after reading through some of your answers, I realized that their personalities are very much alike. She has always been a super clingy baby, and as she aged, became more and more whiny. I ignore it when I know she doesn't need anything, but her tantrums are becoming extreme. A few days ago, she threw a fit that came out of nowhere, and it lasted for over an hour. She wasn't hungry/thirsty/poopy/wet, etc, so I simply left her on the living room floor, and sat on the sofa ignoring her, and waiting for it to pass. I know tantrums can be normal at this age, but the duration of her's is not. My oldest is moderately autistic, and well known for her 2 hour plus meltdowns. I'm not sure if my youngest is now taking cues from her sister or not. Frankly, she shouldn't be, since my oldest has been in part-time pre-school for several weeks now, and since starting therapy, her fits aren't nearly as severe now. I have noticed a few Autistic red flags in Anabelle (my youngest), and mentioned it at her 12 month checkup. She has an appointment coming up with Early Intervention Services so we can figure out what's going on regarding that. I never had to put Paisley, my oldest in time-out until she was nearly 2, b/c she was a perfectly well-behaved child up until around 18 months. I thought about a time out for Anabelle, but I'm not sure if she is old enough to understand the concept, and with her tantrums lasting soooo long, I certainly don't want to leave her in there until she calms down. I know if I did put her in her crib when she gets like that, she would only scream louder, and longer, all the while banging her head on the wall. What the hell am I supposed to do? I'm at my wit's end once again....especially knowing that I very may well end up with 2 kids on the spectrum.
Vivienne definitely takes cues from my older kids. She's a huge screamer, mainly because she's learned It from Harrison. She is very independent and wants to do her own thing, and will absolutely flip out if someone takes a toy or tells her no. Her tantrums aren't long and they aren't violent (she doesn't want to hurt herself). But, she's way more of a drama queen than my older two and it started at a much younger age. She's smart and knows how to get attention. And, it doesn't help that Audrey kind of harasses her (and Harrison) by taking their toys, teasing them, etc. I think having Annabelle evaluated is a good idea, especially since siblings are at a higher risk for ASDs when an older sibling has already been diagnosed. But at this point, I wouldn't worry too much. Younger siblings learn how to get attention, especially in negative ways, at a younger age because they observe their older siblings.I also think that it's probably too early for time outs. I've threatened Vivienne with time outs, but I haven't actually put her in one yet. The threat has been enough for her so far. And yes, Vivienne is a very clingy girl. She cries and yells when we leave a room, has to be held all the time, and I really can't even go to the bathroom without her throwing a little tantrum. She's still a pretty great baby, but she's definitely the most difficult of my three.
Yeah, for the last 15-20 minutes my kids have been playing, and for the majority of that time, Vivienne has been screaming. When she's angry, she screams. When she's happy, she screams. It's her preferred method of communication. That, and calling everyone and everything mama. She's crazy. And she bites randomly too. She's either a monster or a sweet cuddler, but not really anything in between.
Vivienne sounds a lot like Anabelle. Mama is the only word she speaks, and other than that it's screaming/shrieking or grunting like a caveman. Anabelle is a horrendous biter. I have scars on my shoulders and arms from my little cannibal. She headbutt's people, too. Typically, she follows the following routine: Headbutt, bite, headbutt, bite, etc. I thought after the first few times of her biting herself, she would realize that it hurts and discontinue, but that has yet to happen. She bites herself all the time. Functionally, everything and everyone within her reach will be bit. Paisley still engages in head-banging when she's really angry, but not as bad as she used to. I feel bad about calling her a monster, but her moods are very bi-polar. She is either a cannabalistic monster, or a sweet cuddly angel. Never an inbetween, much like you described with Vivienne.
Vivienne isn't too bad about the biting, mainly because she gets very sad and upset when we yell ow. But, she gags herself a lot, which is something I figured she'of learn to stop pretty quickly, my other two did. But she still does it and doesn't understand that shoving her fingers down her throat is what makes it happen. And she growls all the time, which is hilarious. She's super girly but really aggressive at the same time. She loves to wrestle with Harrison and thinks its really fun when he lays on her.For her part, I know that Vivienne is just fighting to be noticed in the midst olathe chaos of two older siblings. She's got loads of personality, is really funny, and is a total drama queen. She does what she has to in order to get more attention. She reminds me a lot of Agnes from Despicable Me. I call her a monster in an affectionate way, mostly because of the screaming and growling And random craziness. She's a sweet, funny girl and I absolutly adore her. She loves her sister and brother so much and they love even more. She's just spunkier and louder and more intense than my older two have ever been.