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No sex on for 3rd shift

5 answers
My husband and I haven't had sex in over a year. 1 year and 3 months to be exact. Not even while we were on vacation and had the time and freedom to do so. I work overnights,full time, we never go out by ourselves,and have only been tense around eachother,during th 30 min a day we see eachother. It is deeply distressing me. When I bring up the mood,he tells me I'm wrong. When I bring up the no sex thing he replies,"Like that's MY fault?" I have to work,financially,I am the primary bread winner,but I am having difficulty finding a daytime shift. I feel like this shift has ruined my marriage,let alone our sex life. I'm at the end of my rope.

answers (5)

When a man is at home by circumstances, no matter the situation is, it's very hard on them. Men are built to have the dirsire to be working to support his family to be the head mucho one, the bread winner. If he's at home cause he needs to be or whatever the circumstance is it's very hard on them and they can become very with drawn and yes the sex life, as marriage, suffers too. When my husband was out of work it was very stressful and sex-less during that time too. I'd strongly suggest to contuine to look for something that gives you guys more time together. Make sacrfices on your part to give him time for sex, even if you are tried. Another thing you can do to try helping or changing the situation, make passes at him, tell him you want sex, "suduce" him there. He may feel that you are only bring up the topic cause he wants you too. A few things that worked and helped in my marriage during tough times. Hope things turn around soon for you.
Thanks for your advice but he's not unemployed. He works a full-time day job,his hours being 9am to 5pm but he stays everynight til 620pm and never home before 7pm. I have asked him to come home earlier,but he says the bulk of his work needs to be done in the afternoon or that he has to wait for the UPS guy. I know he's at work because I call him on his work number regularly.Which means,I cook dinner,we eat,and by that time I have to get in bed for a nap. Thank for trying to help. The whole situation just stinks.
Oh and he has an open invite.. I have told him that if I do fall asleep on my nights off he can wake me up for sex anytime,I'll gladly lose a little sleep for that. I'm the one working overnights and he has fallen asleep on me during foreplay more than once,says it just relaxes him. I'm sorry,hearing snoring while I'm knocking myself out trying to get him excited,  makes my libido disappear. Last time I checked there were no erectile issues. I've gotten tired of being insulted by him falling asleep on me,something that I have never done to him despite being awake for 26 hrs. plus at times and very sleep deprived. It's just a sad situation.
Hmmm... This is a hard one. I am thinking that he is the problem. Especially if you have given an open invitation (he doesn't realize how lucky he is). Maybe it's not work, maybe its something more deep rooted than that. He might stay at work to stay away from home. And if you have already been making efforts to have sex with him and for him to come home early to spend more time with him, then I think its his turn to make an effort. This can be a very big problem in a marriage and shouldn't be taken lightly. I would make a very big effort to have a sit down talk. Make some alone time on a weekend or when you have time off to seriously talk about it. If he doesnt want to talk, I'm sorry to say this but maybe you should walk away. A year and three months is way too long to go without sex. That is your time to become one with your husband. And if you haven't had sex in this long then how is everything else going? How is your marriage? Do you laugh together? Your right, it is a sad situation. I feel true empathy for you.
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