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potty training accidents

2 answers
My granddaughter has had a hard time getting potty trained. My daughter and her husband have determined that the best way to teach her not to have accidents is to make her clean herself. She has to clean herself up and then clean her panties. I think this is absolutely wrong and have tried to talk to them about it but they feel they are right. I feel sorry for my granddaughter who has just turned four. I feel that she is going to have psychological damage from this. This is their first child. Please tell me what i should do.

answers (2)

How often are the accidents and is there a reason behind them? I had a friend her daughter would pee on the floor during a tantrum to show how mad she was. I know this is different then an "accident" but if your grand daughter able to go to the potty fine on her own most of the time? I worked in a preschool and kids had accidents all the time. Some still had them when they were 5, they get too busy playing and just forget to go pee. Explain that it is not help and potty training should not be about punishment. Try not to come off like you are questioning their parenting styles because that is a sure fire way to make them mad. Ask them how it is working and if there has been any progress. Maybe there is a reason your grand daughter is having accidents and they should talk to her doctor. That age can usually talk very well so maybe have them ask her why she did not use the potty and what she think would work better next time.
Punishment should never be a part of potty training. It's a very stressful time for children and needs ot be handled with love and compassion. Punishments of any kind only make a child feel bad themselves and their lack of progress. I agree that the course of action your daughter is pursuing is not psychologically healthy for your granddaughter. It's the equivalent of rubbing a dog's nose in its accident and it just sounds cruel.My daughter is almost 3 and we had some difficulty potty training her. What finally worked was giving her a reward every time she was successful. For every pee on the potty she got one Skittle or m&m. She had a very time getting motivated to poop on the toilet but she finally started doing it when we decided (with her) that a small lollipop was the best reward. I'm not thrilled about giving her candy, but it works. We're weaning her off the Skittles for peeing because she does a great job with that.Make sure that your granddaughter chooses all her potty supplies. Getting to choose big girl undies, a potty chair or seat, and stool all make the experience more fun, which will make it more successful.Also, some kids just take longer to potty train. I was three when it finally happend and my aunt was almost five. Kids will do it when they're ready and sometimes they aren't ready until they're older. But one thing that almost every parent and pediatrician will agree on is that punishments just don't work.

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