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potty training nightmare

8 answers
my daughter is 22 months. at around 18 months, we purchased a DVD called , "elmo's potty time" inside the case, they included a parent's guide to training. she took this guide, and banged on the bathroom door, screaming, "mama! mama!" she took off her pants, and diaper, and sat on her potty seat. she tells me to sit on the big potty, and hands me this guide, while saying, "here mama. you read now." she even opened it up, and turned the pages for me! i began to train her soon after, and realized she was just not ready to dive in full-time. we had many successful trips for the first few days. i did not scold her for accidents, and when she did go, i would praise her and say, "great job! you went pee pee on the potty!" she never pooped on it. she quickly lost interest, and it turned into nothing but screaming tantrums. the worst i had ever seen. my husband and i decided to just take a break from it, and try again in a couple of weeks. she ended up just giving up completely, and would only sit for 5-10 seconds. i tried everything such as reading books, grabbing her favorite toys, etc. nothing was working. she demanded to be trained again around 20 months by sitting on the potty and saying, "potty, sit." i have taken her into the bathroom with me every time since she was 6 months old and crawling, so this is nothing new for her. i am now 10 weeks pregnant, and this has got to be completed by the time her new sibling arrives. i refuse to have 2 in diapers unless, by some miraculous chance i end up with twins. we have since taken her potty of the picture, because she began to look at it as just a seat, not a potty. i bought a plastic seat that fits over our existing toilet, and began to tackle this once again. i set a kitchen timer for 20 minutes, and when it goes off, i yell, "potty time!" and take her right in there. every time she sits on it, it's a battle of wills. she screams, and kicks, and we have to literally make her sit there long enough to do something. i know she can do it, and i know she understands the concept of everything, she's a brilliant kid. it's just a matter of, "i don't want to, so i'm not going to!" we are on day 7 now, and since then, she has only peed on the potty 3 times, and pooped once. i'm not using pull-ups, i put her in cotton underwear. i don't believe in pull-ups, they are just pull-on diapers. she seems to feel very uncomfortable in dirty/wet underwear, and tries to take it off. i'm at my wits end here and don't know what else to do. i am not starting the rewards, because i don't believe in giving kids a reward for something they just have to do. you wouldn't give your kid an m&m for brushing their teeth... please help me! i joke that by the time i deliver, i will be bald, because i will have ripped all of my hair out. i have considered making a potty chart to tape on the bathroom wall, and instead of stickers, taking a red and green marker, and color dots for each time she goes. green for pee, red for poop. maybe if she can see her accomplishments, that will aid in the process...?

answers (8)

I'd sit her down and ask her why she doesn't want to use the potty. Then maybe explain to her all the new cool things big girls can do compared to girls in diapers. Maybe have an agreement with her saying if she can go a week without accidents she gets a new book or something. But only as a one time thing. I don't agree with giving out treats, as I have said in other posts, I feel as if you are treating the kid like a dog and you are right about the pull-ups. My son used them at his grandma's and he told me today that he thought of them as a diaper so he would use them as a diaper.
My daught would continue to have accidents if she was in pull ups for panties.  I made her run around naked and after she had her first accident all down her legs she was done.  It seams to be the only thing that worked.  I begged, pleaded, bargined, and bribed and that was my last option and the only one that worked.   Good luck!
at first, she was bothered by wearing wet underwear. now, it doesn't seem to phase her. even when i runs all down her legs. when she poops in her underwear, she will dig it out and hand it to you. disgusting, i know. i read so much info on potty training, and it all says, your child has to be good and ready. however, this is our 3rd attempt at training, and we cannot give up this time. she peed on the potty today, yay! so that makes 4 successful trips in 9 days....not very many! truly, i want nothing more than to give up. i'm exhausted, and it's just taking so much out of me. not only am i pregnant, but i have 4 slipped discs in my lower back, so getting up and taking her in there every 15-20 minutes is becoming rather difficult, and painful. but i am determined to win this battle once and for all!
My daughter had some similar behavior in the beginning and the only thing that worked for us was putting her potty chair in the living room. We told her to use it when she needed to go and like magic, she did. All by herself. Things were great until her little brother turned 6 months old and started crawling. He would play with her potty chair (which was always clean when he got to it) and that made her mad. We moved it to the bathroom and kept the light on so she could go when she needed to but he'd just follow her in there to bug her. We got her a potty seat for the toilet and that works great, she tells us when she needs to go and has very few pee accidents, but she won't poop on the toilet no matter how long she sits. She does it sometimes, but I think it's just not comfortable for her. I have a feeling she'll grow out of pooping in her pants eventually...But honestly, having two in diapers isn't a big deal. My son was born when my daughter was 18 months old and it didn't even feel like extra work because by that point my daughter was only using about 4 diapers a day. And, you have to remember that a lot of kids will regress after the new baby is born, so if your daughter is newly potty trained when #2 is born you may be in for a lot of accidents and hassle.
she will be close to  2 1/2 when the new baby arrives. i recently enlisted a potty chart and made it look like a maze. i told her that for every time she pees or poops on the potty, she gets a sticker on the circle. when she fills up all 14 cirlces, she gets a special treat. it's going to be something small, like a cookie for dessert. the only "cookies" she knows of are nilla wafers, or ginger snaps. i also put her little potty back in the bathroom. i realized that she had more successful trips on that one that she has with the big potty. it seems to have helped a great deal, and she got one sticker yesterday for a poop. she was thrilled after that, so i think the chart is going to be a big help for us.
it's day 11 ladies, and she was doing fine yesterday, but today she jumped right back into the old refusal attitude. i say potty time, and she has a meltdown. honestly, this is way too much stress for me at this point in my pregnancy, and i have just put her back in diapers for now. i still take her in there 4-5 times a day, and i have noticed that without the pressure, she will sit for a while without a fight. maybe she's just not ready. all i can hope for is that in the next 6 months, she will finally get it. she knows the basics, so that's half the battle. the other half is just getting her to actually want to pee and poop on it. she will sit there for 6 minutes, and do nothing. as soon as she gets up, she runs and hides while eliminating herself.
When my daughter learned at 2 1/2 years old ... I had her wear only cotton under wear all day long except for the night and i remember she would sit in the toilet and do nothing and after she got up she would run hide and do there....!!! It was already about to be a week that i had been washing dirty underwear and mopiing the floor like crazy ...!! Honestly i was soo mad and stress that i told her everytime you pee pee or poo poo on your underwear i will sit you in the corner for 5 min ...!!! And so i did it that way she had 3 accidents in a few hours and those 3 times she went straight to the corner ...!!!  She would scream and walk back but everytime she would do that i would walk her back to the corner.. The next day i told her the same this time i also said i dont want you to pee pee on the floor any more if you do im going to have to send you to live with leo ( a cousin that she hates ) ... Because daddy and me cant affored no more dipers and mommy does not want to clean no more dirty under wear or floor ...!!! This worked wonders everytime she felt like something was coming or she felt a drop come out she would go crazy she would say mommy mommy pee pee ruuunn ..!!!!! lolShes a little girl who understands what your telling her ...!! And me as her mom i knew she was tottally able too go to the wash room and that she just didnt want to do it...!!! I knw it was not nice of me to punish her in the corner and tell her she was going to have to move out  if she didnt learn, but im glad it worked and im sure it wouldnt have worked any other way unless i was willing to go on with this for months ...!!!
Oh and by the way i did try the books and dvds and even bribeing with m&ms and the chart with stickers on the bathroom wall....!!!And all of thiis failed...!!

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