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The real story of my miscarriage

2 answers
Okay well I was trying to shorten the story. But you want the full efect i'll give it to you. I gave my daughter cut up strawberries with yogurt because it's her fav lunch. Then I walked out of the room to get the dirty clothes out of are bedrooms and bathrooms and threw them in the washer. When I came back like maybe 2 or 3 minutes later she was choking. I ran to her and tried for like 5 minutes to get it out of her mouth. She started turning blue so I ran to the bedroom to get my husband who was still asleep. When I got him up he was trying to help her and i ran next door and tried to get the neighbors phone. But they weren't home so I went back home and her face was almost grey and I thought she was dead. My husband was so upset that when she was in his arms he hit her on the belly with his fist because at that point we had lost her. There was nothing to do then and when he did it flew out of her mouth. Then I was sitting on the bed holding her my arms trying CPR! and everything I could to get my baby back. Then she cried and coughed and started moving around and breathing. I got up to try to find are phone but caitlyn had been playing with it earlier that day so I had no idea where it was. And when I got up I started cramping really bad and my husband started freaking out because he seen blood where I was sitting. I looked and there was blood everywhere it was on the sheets running down my leg and on my pants. So I gave him the baby and ran to the bathroom. When I sat down I felt the baby come out I just started screaming ''my baby'' then my husband came in there. Then everything was blurry and I fell into the floor. Then I woke up in the hospital my husband was crying and my mother was there crying. I ask where caitlyn was and they said they had her checked out and shes ok but she might have a sore throught. Then the doctor came in and I ask if I was ok and if my baby made it. The doctor avoided my questions he told me i lost alot of blood but they didn't need to give me blood and they would just give me iron pills to help me build my own. Then he said ''im sorry but the baby is gone'' And I said what do you mean my baby is gone then he said the worst words i've ever heard he said ''oceana you lost the baby''. And at that moment I was so upset that I could've tore them all apart so I got up out of bed still shaking but so hurt that it didn't matter. I ran to the nursery and was beating on the window saying ''who let my baby die'' ''you can't take my baby''. They gave me seditives to calm me down. It was a horrible expeirence for me and I wanted to forget it I am upset just talking about how scared I was ok is it ok for me to not wanna talk about how I almost lost caitlyn then lost my baby. Does it really matter to you that my baby died. But thank you mamablue for caring a little. This is to the people who are saying im not upset enough or saying i lied about my miscarriage.

answers (2)

I'm sorry. I'm glad  Caitlyn's ok.
Having a miscarriage is a very heart breaking thing and to have it happen after such a scary experience wit your daughter would definitely make it worse.  Not talking about it is your own therapy of kind of dealing with it (if you knwo what I mean) that was a very traumatizing experience for you. Of course something that has made you very upset is best left unspoken because it just brings back a terrible memory and make you upset again...I tink it is perfectly normal for you to NOT talk about it, why would you want to remind yourself all the time of losing your little angel and also have lost your daughter??? it would make you feel guilty and you dont want to feel that way, nature can be very cruel to us sometimes but you cant blame yourself for what happened to the baby and you are not a bad parent cuz your child choked and dont let anyone tell you that either! Whomever these people are that are telling you that 'whats wrong with you? you should be greiving more!!" you ARE grieving, but in your own way. I'm so sorry you had to experience such sad sorrow about your unborn child and I am glad your little girl pulled through! Forget those who said you were lying about miscarrying....they arent worth the trouble and stress over. period. no more caring about what they said because their opinion does not matter AT ALL...those are cruel people!!! I've had a miscarriage I knwo how you feel and yes i keep it to myself aswell...wen our daughter was born she had a cleft palate and was inthe hospital for 4 months...i was young and couldnt always afford to be with her (she was 45 minutes away in a different city)...which REALLY makes me upset and guilty so i try to forget about it...shes a beautiful healthy 7 yr old now and thats what i should focus on :) and as to you...focus on the love you have for your daugter and husband and the love they have for you and only allow positive people into your life."Without doubt, the most common weakness of all human beings is the habit of leaving their minds open to the negative influence of other people."EMBRACE the positive energy, it'll be good for you in the long run, don't let these people know that what they said makes you upset...remember to ignore when you were in school?...same thing applies now...ignore and itll stop...misery loves company and thats what they are trying to do to you, make you miserable.I hope this helped and sorry its so long :P I get so mad when people can be so cruel even when were adults and fully know the wrongs of our actions.Jamie :)

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