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My husband has 2 kids from a different marriage, Ben and Macey. His daughter Macey is 14, and lately has been out of control! Her mother is no longer in the picture. So I guess I am playing mom for her and Ben. I really think something is going on with her, she won't talk to either of us, she is staying out late and not letting us know where she was... And I have caught her in a few lies before, she has gotten drunk before, I don't know about drugs but I am sure she has probably tried them. She has a boyfriend, I don't know if she is being safe. I am just worried, I love her like a daughter and I really want her to talk to me.
In this kind of situation, it often helps to see a therapist. It might help both Macey and Ben to talk about their feelings and air any problems they've been dealing with. Talking to a neutral third party can make teenagers feel more comfortable talking about things since they may, for a number of reasons which aren't necessarily caused by parents/step-parents, feel judged, or simply like they cannot talk to anyone else. Some family sessions might also be helpful since both you and your husband can be there to talk to the kids. You can be honest with them, you can tell them how much you wish they would talk with you, and you can, together as a family, figure out how to be comfortable communicating with each other.I know it's not easy. I remember when I was a teenager, I never felt like I could really talk to anyone in my family. There was no specific reason why, I just didn't feel like I had a strong enough relationship with any of them. If we had seena therapist more than once, I'm sure I would have been able to open up and really connect with them, especially when I was going through some hard times during high school.