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Throwing a fit, Is there a way to prevent and help it NOT happen?
My daughter is 19 months old and an only child at that, With a daddy who loves to do nothing but spoil her. She just recently learned how to throw the worst fit i have ever seen. She will throw her self on ground, starting crying, sometimes even bang her head on ground for what it seems like for the attention. It is an awful thing to see my child go through but i do not want to enable this bad habit and give in to her every time she disagrees. It is very embarrassing, especially when we are at a friends house. I was just wondering if any moms out there who has been through this has advice for me? I know i am not the only mother who has experienced this kind of behavior..
With my daughter I would take her aside and talk to her and say "This is not okay, do you want to go sit in the car (or go home)" Once I did this and she said yes she wanted to sit in the car and before I even had her in the car she was wanting to go back. But we sat in the car for a couple minutes. I have also had her sit on my lap and held her. I did not talk to her I talked to the other adults. When I felt she was calm I let her go back to playing, not when she first asked but when I felt she understood. I would talk to her about it. Keep it short and sweet. "We do not scream when mommy says no"At home when my daughter is having a melt down I make her go to her room. Sometimes she does not want to go so I pick her up and set her on her bed and tell her when you are done you may come back out. It is about being constant.My daughter has been pretty good about not having melt downs in public. At home unless she is over tired being sent to her room once is enough to get her to stop and it does not happen that ofter.
Yeah my daughter does the same thing its horrible. The best thing to do is to take your child somewhere quiet and say ''this is bad if you don't stop you there will be consequenses''. Then if your child doesn't stop take them to a stair,cornor,chair something like that and sit them down. Tell them why there in trouble and then walk away for her age 4 minutes would be ok. Then if she gets up put her back don't talk to her just put her back. Then when her time is up go to her tell her why she sat down and give her a hug. Reward her for good behavior and let her know you love her don't be mean about it or yell.
Surprisingly, they don't always grow out of this one their own. I saw a fifth grader last year do this at her school.
Both my kids went through tantrum phases early, around 10 months old and at that age it was very easy to deal with. I simply told them they could have their tantrum and that they could come out of whatever room they were in once they calmed down. The phase only lasted a week at most. My daughter is now almost three and my son is 16 months, neither one have thrown tantrums since.But, with older kids it can be trickier. One thing I've always done with my kids that helps avoid tantrums is to let them make decisions whenever it's possible. I let them choose between two shirts/snacks/books/etc. as often as I can. Allowing them to make small decisions helps them feel like they have control over things in their lives. Most tantrums really aren't about kids wanting to get their way at that specific moment, it's about a general lack of control when they're learning to become independent. Letting them choose things for themselves shows them not only that they can make decisions, but also that you trust them to make the decisions. Because of this they are more likely to listen to your rules about behavior, bedtime, etc.Next time you're in a situation where she is misbehaving tell her how you would like her to behave and what will happen if she doesn't listen. Give her the chance to decide for herself what she wants to do. Give her two chances to change her behavior and if she doesn't, follow through with the course of action you described. If you're in public, leave the store. If you're at a playdate, leave. If she's throwing toys, take them away or give her a time out. Make sure whatever you do is appropriate and don't yell or get angry and don't spank.
What I did when my boy was about 4, If hewas throwing a tantrum I went to my room and closed the door. What happened, well he came knocking on the door because I wasn't there to take any notice of him so what was the point of throwing a tantrum?He would say what you doing mummy,I replyed you were making me sad, you going to be good now. Or if toys were thrown I would just say, "you happy know, you feel better?they are your toys so if they break its your fault"I never made a fuss about tantrums. If they dont get a reaction from mum then whats the point! That worked well for me.
Thank You everyone for all the advice. I am sure i will be trying some of these methods. Although i feel that my daughter is still too young to understand the concept of a "Time Out". maybe when she gets a little bit older. But the taking her outside for away from a crowd for the moment, seems to be the most realistic for ME at this time. I understand that theres a way that works different for everyone but i do not feel puttingher in the room and shutting the door would solve anything for me or her. I feel that might traumatize her and make her cry harder, i dont want that. But Thanks again. This all really gave me some insight.