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what tips work best when potty training a 4yr boy who refuses?

5 answers
my son whos four years old refuses to use the toilet and will only pee in his pull ups everytime i try to get him to use the toilet he throws a big fight with the whole thing meaning a big tantrum and im to far along to handle his weight meaning picking him up and putting him where he needs to be i need help bad because im abouts to give up on the whole thing im at the end of my rope.

answers (5)

i had the same problem with my 21 month old daughter. she demanded to be potty trained twice. she took a parents guide to potty training, went to the bathroom, and told me to sit on the big potty. she took off her pants and diaper, and sat on her potty. she hands me this guide, and says, "here mama. you read now! you teach me!" as she opened up the book, and turned the pages for me. so i thought, ok this will be easy! oh boy, was i wrong. we took her potty out of the picture, and bought an $8 plastic seat that fits over our existing toilet seat. it's a tantrum every single time she sits on it, but i'm 9 weeks pregnant as of monday, and i'm not having 2 in diapers, unless i'm having twins. i know she can do it, because she has managed to pee on the potty over 20 times. my sister in law told me to just make her do it. so i make her sit on the potty for atleast 3 minutes, and tell her she doesn't have to do anything, but she does have to try. i just put my hands on her legs, and make her sit. i know that sounds cruel, but it has worked so far. it's been a nightmare, but she's close to being fully trained in the day time. i never used pull ups. they are too much like diapers. i put her in cotton underwear, and let her pee and poop on herself, so she get's the idea that this is an uncomfortable feeling. she hates it when pee runs down her leg, and runs to the bathroom, banging on the door. i don't spank her or put her in time-out for accidents, i just say, "you peed/pooped in your big girl panties! let's clean you up. next time, you need to try and make it to the potty. after trying  to tell her "you had an accident, that's ok.", she had this notion that she could pee and poop in her pants, and it was still ok, because mom would clean her up. she just gave up on trying after that. so i have resorted to other options. i hope this helps. potty training is a nightmare.
My sister-in-law had an older child and when ever he went in his pants, she'd make him stand facing the corner for an hour before she'd bring him to the bathroom.But I was told to bring them into the bathroom every 15 minutes and have them try to go. Personally, I think if you went every half an hour with them, they'd do just fine.
As frustrating as it's going to be, get rid of the pull-ups. If you keep letting him wear pull-ups he will never use the potty because he has an easier option.If you haven't already try reward charts,a sticker for every sucessful time, and a treat after he earns a set number of stickers.If he doesn't respond to the rewards, try peer pressure. If he has a cousin or a close friend they might be the motivation he needs to use the potty. Just make a bigger deal out how they use the potty and he should be a big boy and use the potty too.You said you are too far along, I take that as your pregnant? Was he using the potty before you started showing? A lot of children regress when they hear of a sibiling. Try showing him some big boy things he can do to help get ready for the baby and make sure he understands how important he is to you, and that a brother or sister will never replace him.If he has never been potty trained, it might be time to call the doctor.  
For my two youngest boys, positive reinforcement worked wonders.I let them pick out a WAY cool toy for a "potty toy." I told them that they would only get to play with the toy for ten minutes, and only after they went to the bathroom on the toilet. The toy stayed on top of the fridge where they could see it, but not get to it. When they would ask if they could play with it, I would remind them that they first had to tinkle and poop on the potty. When they did use the toilet, they got to play with the toy for ten minutes all by themselves. After ten minutes, it went back up on the fridge. If they had an accident, I would remind them that they weren't going to be able to play with the toy because they didn't use the bathroom. (If they made an honest effort, I might give them a little time with the toy.) Worked so well with my second son, that I continued it with the third. Lovin' the diaper-free life!
Potty-training sounds like a nightmare!!

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