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what to do about impasses about family
Me and my husband have been married for just about 4 years now , and we are stuck in this never ending loop of a impasse of when we should start our family. Personal I'm ready i've been ready for a couple years now, i finished my degree were in a stable place, i have a well paying job ( enough to keep the whole house of 2 afloat with 3 animals). However, my husband for the last two years has told me that hes ready if happens but hes not going to let it happen on purpose. hes told me he doesn't know when he'll be ready for a plan. but he knows that it wont be for a while or if ever, and thats the part that scares me the most and i have no idea what to do. this man is what i believe 100% is my soul mate and i dont want to lose him, thats why i need to know if i should suck it up and wait or come to terms with not never expanding our family or forbid leave. please help.
as they say, "actions speak louder than words" he has shown by his actions he is not interested in having children, or atleast not with you. you need to decide what is important to you, what things you are willing to compromise on, and what you are not willing to compromise. stand up for yourself and your beliefs/thoughts, and ask him point blank does he want children yes or no? if he answers yes, ask him "when", he must give a definite answer not vague. be prepared that if he is not willing to give you a definite answer of when and yes to children, he has then basically told you he does not want to have children. what are you prepared to do? hang on and hope he changes his mind? he won't, don't fool yourself thinking he will. if you stand up for what you believe in, and leave him, you can never regret your decision, because you will have not compromised your beliefs. of course this discussion of children should have been seriously discussed before marriage. don't assume a man thinks like you do. on another note, he may be "scared" or "afraid' of having children because then he would have to work and his salary would be the only income. that's if you would stay home and take care of your children. maybe he also doesn't want children because he would have to give up his "toys" "activities" because there would be a drop (temporary or not) in take home salary. whatever the outcome if you want children you want to have them with someone who wants them as much as you. maybe this is a sign he wouldn't make a good father?