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What to do when you can't get along with your step daughter.

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I'm a mother of 2 girls 4 & 2 I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years. He has a daughter who is 8 me & her dnt get along at all she has a really bad attitude all the time talking back to her father & just being disrespectful now my 4 year old id doing the same thing talking back to me & being ride I can't stand that. Her dad doesn't say anything to her he just lets her talk back to him. Idk what to do anymore I can't even be in the same room with her just the way she is she crys over everything & anything. He still treats her like if she is 3. Not only that but she poops on her self that I can't stand at all she is 8!!!! Like come on! My 4 year old is coping her and she is just setting a bad example. Idk what to do. When ever she stays with us on the weekends she wants to sleep with is on the bed I dnt like that.

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