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When deep breaths doesn't cut it

2 answers
I am aware that a little reverting is a given when a three-year-old is introduced to a new baby, but this has become ridiculous. The screaming and the defiance is to a level in which husband and I can't reach. We tried sending him to his room, being calm and explaining why it's not good behavoir, spanking. After explaining and setting the punishment, like taking away TV prevliages, he asks to watch it over and over and over again. And we tell him over and over and over again that he was bad so he can't. It's like talking to a broken record and finally I just give in. He refuses to go to bed, and screams and hollers. He wakes up in the middle of the night crying, when I go in there to see what is wrong, he doesn't tell me so I leave and that starts more screaming and hollering. I am soo lucky that the new baby can sleep through all of this ruckus. I'm just at my ropes end and don't know how to handle this.

answers (2)

First of all, do not spank and do not use words like "bad". Don't tell him he was bad, tell him that the specific behavior was not nice and explain why.My 3 1/2 year old daughter wakes up crying sometimes. She won't say what's wrong because she's too upset. My husband or I cuddle with her unti lshe calms down and falls asleep. Your son is 3. It is completely normal for him to test his boundaries. It is also normal to experience changes in behavior after adding a new sibling to the family. The two things that are most helpful in this kind of situation are consistent discipline and extra attention. Make sure you set and stick to appropriate consquences for undesirable behaviors. No more than 5 minutes for time outs. Give him more one on one time, since he's likely feeling left out now that you have a new baby. I have 3 kids. My older two never went through any jealousy or behavioral issues when new siblings were brought home. They were both very excited for a new sibling. My oldest daughter was 18 months old when her brother was born, he was 20 months old when our new baby was born. We make them a part of everything we do. They are happy to be big helpers, bringing us diapers, wipes, bottles, blankets, etc. The baby's nap time means lots of cuddling and playing with my older two. I take one or two of my kids with me for a "special day" when I have to run errands/shop for groceries. I make sure that each one of my kids feels special and gets the time that they need.
i can sympathize with the broken record syndrome. my 3 year old does the same thing. i agree with vforventure on the "bad" thing. don't tell him he's been bad. explain what he did wrong, and tell him why he can't do it. in toddler terms, of course. tantrums, screaming, and defiance are normal at this age. i know it's endless and frustrating, because i go through it on a daily basis with my daughter. it's in their nature to push boundaries. it's how they learn. if you're going to spank, don't do it out of rage. time-outs can be effective if you can be consistent about it. don't let him out early because you get tired of hearing him yell, and scream. you have to stop giving in to the tantrums. it's crucial for him to learn that it's not how he gets what he wants. all it takes is one time to give in,and then you have taught him that's what it takes. if you say no to something, stick with it. come hell, high high water, tantrums, whining, screaming, etc. if possible, let him know why he can't have or do something. when i'm feeding, or tending to my 6 month old,and my 3 year old wants something RIGHT NOW, i explain that when my task is complete, i will get it. sure, this enrages her, but she has to learn patience, and also that life doesn't revolve around her. i explain that she's not the only one in the house, and sometime other people need things before her.

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