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Why is my 11 yeat old daughter so boy crazy?

4 answers
Our 11 year old daughter is very smart. She skipped a grade and is classified as gifted and talented. She's also extremely popular because she's very athletic, playing several sports at school and in our community. So, her she's tall and very shapely for her age. She started her menstrual cycle last year and I understand her hormones are raging, but lately I have found the most inappropriate messages on her iPod. She had a cell phone but it was taken away for using obscene language, she says she has "anger issues" and talking to boys. Now she's repeating the same behavior. But this time she kissed a boy and they talked about sex. What should I do? Please!!!

answers (4)

It's normal for your daughter to experience "crushes", and most girls WILL have their first kiss in middle school- but 11 is a little out of control. And talking about sex? That IS out of control. On the other hand, though, (it depends on the details and circumstance) it may be only a friend that happens to be a guy and they have questions about sex. If this is not the case, you need to have a serious talk with her. Consider taking a special trip for one night to a nice, affordable hotel if this is within your abilities, and while you are there, ask her if she has questions about sex, or dating, and then explain on NO uncertain terms that she can not have sex, date, etc. etc. if this is your belief. Then try to get her to talk, perhaps get her to explain what's going on or ask if she's being bullied or is scared of something. She may have out-of-balance hormones too, so you may consider going to a doctor specializing in tween/teen girls to get help. All of these things could be encouraging this behavior, so try to eliminate them. Above all, it's important to TALK TO YOUR DAUGHTER. She is going through a difficult time, and you as mother need to be sure she is comfortable talking to you. I hope this helps!
It's probably a good idea to follow your local pool's locker room guidelines- that way, if you go to the pool, your children will be comfortable knowing they'll shower with or without mommy or daddy. Although- my personal opinion I've used with my own children is about 3 or 4. But it really depends on your unique child. Hope this helps!
I think that you should start getting your 3 year old used to chores by encouraging him to clear his plate, put away his toys, etc. etc. With your 5 year old, it's within reason to rely on her for simple, small tasks such as the aforementioned ones. For your oldest, it is NOT unreasonable to keep your standard at cleaning his room and taking out the trash. For unloading the dishwasher, I suggest keeping it to a maximum of 4 nights per week- and doing his own laundry? I didn't start doing my own laundry until I was 11 or 12, but if your son seems like he can handle it, it would not be too much. However, do not insist that he always do his own- if he's in a hurry and needs something washed, it is alright to do it for him. Other things to keep in mind: You will be able to tell if he has too large of a workload. Is getting the time he needs to finish his homework on time, correctly? Is he tired/getting enough sleep? Is he getting time to relax with family or play with friends? Hope this helps!
I do not personally think it's a good idea! Keeping them at grandma's house while you work is fine, but be sure you're with them the rest of the time! It's beneficial that they are buddies with their grandparents, but overall YOU are the parent and should be spending the most time with them. They should not be calling you and your spouse by your first names, and calling grandparents "mom and dad" either. It's understandable that you may need that time at work to provide for them, but if you could do without the extra $, then it's a good idea to invest in your children.

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