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Sometimes it's nice to get advice from experts with a lot of letter degrees behind their names, but other times, you just need to hear what another parent (with a M.O.M. behind her name) has done that has worked. You've got questions? These moms have answers.

Widowed mom with child who routinely pleads dire illness.

2 answers
This is a problem on school mornings. He has been bullied before and was terrified of going a few years ago. It's not the issue this year. My rule is that if you stay home you go to the doctors office. Neither happened and it got to the point of trying to dress him while he made it impossible. He is smart but I feel very disrespected and do not want my son to fall behind. I will get the work from his teacher but I am the mom and I know he has to follow rules. Nothing is working. We need to find a new home also as ours is old and in disrepair and I worry for our health because of issues with our apartment. Speaking to Management/Maintenance has not proved lasting results. I have a great kid but feel like I should be able to do this easily. We prepare the backpack and outfit the night before so it is not stress because of lack of preparation. What can I do? Thanks

answers (2)

It sounds to me as if your son really, really, REALLY does not want to go to school.  I have to wonder why.  You say it's not because of bullying this year, but that doesn't mean there isn't something else going on to make him want to stay at home.  (Or that the bullying isn't still continuing, and he just isn't telling you about it for whatever reason.)  It might be worth your while to talk to his teacher and principal to find out what's going on in the classroom and on the playground.  Better yet, talk to your son sometime when you're NOT trying to get him to go to school - maybe on a weekend, or an afternoon.  Try talking to him just before bed, when it's dark, or in the car, so he doesn't have to look at you while he talks (and you don't have to look at him).  Sometimes that can help with the confession, so to speak. It also sounds as if you may have a move in your future; this might be an excellent time to change schools.  Depending on your son's age, you might want to get his opinion in on this, particularly since a move would land him in a different school zone.  He may have an opinion about which school he'd prefer to attend. Something else to consider; you say you're widowed, but you don't say when.  If it was fairly recently, your son may be still dealing with the loss of his father.  Grief comes out in a gazillion ways.  This might be one of his ways of handling it. I'm sorry for your loss, and for his.  Good luck with school and your possible move.
I agree with azriona. Talk to his teacher and/or the school counselor to find out if there is something going on that he isn't telling you. Also, look for other stressors in his life. If he has started at a new school or if his school activities have changed in some way (changing for gym class, having multiple teachers, etc.) that could be a factor. And even if you weren't widowed recently your son may be having difficulties dealing with having a single parent family. In addition to all that, you should talk to your son. Your the only parent he has, let him know that he can confide in you and that you'll always be there to listen and help him through his problems.

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