You are here

Get Answers

Sometimes it's nice to get advice from experts with a lot of letter degrees behind their names, but other times, you just need to hear what another parent (with a M.O.M. behind her name) has done that has worked. You've got questions? These moms have answers.

should we be together just because we are having a baby together??

8 answers
ok the situation here is that he's my ex and we've had a 'thing' now for about 2 1/2 years (by thing i mean we haven't been together for the whole time just some of it, but we've always still cared for each other and still communicated for the whole time) but my problem here is that when we are labled as a couple we don't seem happy or to get along at all, but we we aren't labled as a couple it seems like we couldn't be happier. the other day he brought up that he wanted to maybe give 'us' another try but i told him that i felt that it would be better for or relationship and the baby if we just stayed happy apart. he seemed kind of shocked and let down by it and i do feel bad about it but should i feel this way or should we be together and try to work through ALL of our differences and problems and try to make things work?

answers (8)

You can raise a happy healthy baby and not be together.  I think it's easier for the child to grow up knowing his parents aren't together than to have the child go through a split up.  Doesn't sound like you wanna try and make this work so if your heart isn't in it it won't work.
If your not happy know!!
be truthful to yourself if u dont love him then dont stay a couple just to have a family! thats not good faking it for the baby, u will never be happy!
There is more to the discord than "the label."  If you can recognize what causes your discontent it may be easier to resolve the issue.  Your "baby daddy" may feel that he is the cause of the issues when you are together and that may be why he wants to give it another try with the baby as his motivation.  It could be a commitment thing on either side of your relationship.  Until you know what the root of the issue is, you shouldn't risk a bad breakup involving your child.A child has such advantages being raised by two parents. Maybe this baby is what you two need to help you grow together and be better together than you are apart.  You have two things to think about now, your wellbeing and that of your baby.  If you can really figure out what went wrong when you were together it may help you work things out or at least figure out what you need in a companion. It sounds like you care about each other. You might consider counseling, together or on your own, to delve into this problem you have of being "a couple."  It may make it easier to understand what the problem really is and move forward.
Absolutely not. I have a younger sister who is having the same problem. I tell her all the time it is better for her and her son if they end things now before she has her son. You can do it with or without him, no one can make that decision for you. If you are having doubts, my opinion would be to end it now.
He seems all set up to be a dad - so let him!  But that definitely doesn't mean you should be with him.  It's best for the kid for you to go with your instincts, as long as you want to involve the father.  Good luck with everything!
you can be parents and not be together especially if you both feel happyier this seems that your relationship is really complicated and may need to have counseling even if you two are not together
your child deserves a healthy relationship betwen his/her parents, rather that is aromantic relationship or respectful friendship united in raising a child.. whichever would be healthier is the way you should go.. if you try to stay together just bc of the baby it is likely the baby will see an unhealthy relationship with alotof fighting, but if you think ya'll can work all this out then give it a try.. but remember to go with the healthier route is best for child

*DISCLAIMER's Answers are provided by members of our community. While your fellow moms and our editors have plenty of great advice to offer based on their experience, it is not a substitute for professional medical help. Always consult a medical professional when seeking medical advice. All submitted answers are subject to the rules set forth in our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use