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Time off or time to go?
Recently i posted a question about my fiancé and our new room mate. Let me start off by saying thank you to all the ladies that gave their input. it really got my courage up and i spoke with him.. It seems that he doesn't see the problems and he will just tell me that thats enough. and he doesn't want to talk about it.. So i told him i wanted to go to my mothers for a few months if nothing changes about his room mate. But now theres a new problem.. he seems to get really angry and defensive when i speak about going to my moms. so i try to make a deal with him and work something out by asking him to take some time off from work so he can take care of me during my last weeks and help me out until i recuperate from the birth. But when i ask that he gets upset and goes off about his employment insurance not being enough and so on so forth. My mother is much too busy with my youngest siblings at home and dealing with divorce papers my father is too lazy to complete. So for her to come all the way to where we live ( 26 hour drive away ) is absolutely out of the question.. My fiancé's behavior has been insupportable lately cursing, getting upset or angry over simple things, using a very rude and annoyed tone of voice with me constantly and on top of that calling me names for no reason. Any ideas why hes behaving like this? Should i just leave for my mothers? or should i try to convince him to take time off from work? Thanks again ladies. Its so comforting reading all your advice! ( by the way we are a young couple. early twenties. So is his behavior something to expect at this time? i just feel like i have a lot of transition into the whole mother role and he hasn't moved an inch closer to the father perspective.
ok just tell him in a calm voice your friend goes or i go i cant deal with the way hes acting and its really upseting me how youve been acting so you need to make your friend behave better or i will leave
his behavoir is not something that u should accept..he maybe scared about the baby comming and everything changing but thats no excuse..esp if hes not willing to take time out of work to help u! i would leave for a little weather he likes it or not and let him realize how hes acting
Just because you guys are in your early twenties doesn't excuse how he is treating you. Tell him he has a week to straighten his act or you are leaving for your mom's. And LEAVE at the end of the week if he doesn't. He's being a child and testing you.
I absolutely agree with all the other answers. It is awful how he is treating you and I think you should tell him that he either gets it together or you're out of there. Let him know how much he has changed since his friend came to stay there and remind him of his responsibilities to you and the baby NOT HIS FRIEND! Ihope all goes well. Good luck sweetie. :)
I agree with everyone. His behavior should not be tolerated and the last thing you need is to stress yourself and your baby. You need to be clear that if he is not willing to help you, you will find someone (your mother) to help you. Men do stress about a new baby because along comes a commitment, responsibility, financial issues can arise, etc. He should be able to support you and hear you without getting angry (and vise versa) Good luck!!!
i think its past trying to have his friend change his behavior... his friend obviously has no respect for you or the help you have given him and if your husband even cared to try and talk to his friend about his behavior he would have already.... it's at the point where he needs to either grow up or stop waisting your time and efforts. He is probably terrified about the baby but i'm sure you are as well, everybody has their own fears about any unknown situation, this is normal... what is unusual in your situation is that your have a third party that is probably fueling the fear that your husband feeling, especially since you have already seen odd behavior becuase of your new house guest like your hubby acting that he is a single man. It is easier said than done but an ultimatum sounds like the best thing... it's either you and the baby or his pal, i would go to your moms and just tell him that if his friend is not out by the time your back than he obviously made his choice. It's not his responsibility to take care of his friend, you helped him in his time of need but enough is enough and the most important thing right now is that you and your unborn baby are safe and healthy and you've let this be a stresser for far to long alraedy...