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Why am I not so excited with my 2nd baby??

3 answers
I feel terrible. I don't want people to think I'm such an uncaring mother. But with my 2nd pregnancy, I don't feel much joy the way I felt with my first. Don't get me wrong, this is sort of a planned pregnancy (the hubby wanting to have one right after the 1st) but I'm probably not physically and emotionally ready. My first son is 16months old, who is such a darling. I shed tears of joy the very first time I found out I'm pregnant with him. With the 2nd, aside from not feeling any pregnacy symptoms I don't feel anything. Although, I get ready with things and stuffs and make sure I eat a balance healthy diet. I regularly see my doctor and religiously drink my prenatal vitamins... I don't feel pregnant at all except my belly keeps on growing. I am on my 22 weeks. Funny thing Is everytime I see my 2nd baby in the ultrasound I feel really happy. But it doesn't last... I am really bothered specially now after learning that I am having another boy (I so wanted to have a baby girl) I feel so sad and I can't shed it off... What should I do? I think I am being so unfair to my unborn son. :(

answers (3)

OMG!  I know exactly how you feel.  You anticipate and hope for so much for your first.  Everything is new and exciting and like WOW!  Your second it's more been there done that, especially if you are having a healthy pregnancy.  It's not that you don't want him and aren't excited about him, but it's nothing new.  I cruised through my second pregnancy barely giving it a thought.  I too got excited to see his ultrasounds, but as it was a healthier pregnancy, I didn't get to see much of them.  I didn't have a wide range of symptoms and barely had any hormone changes.  Our first born, also a boy, was almost 28 months when baby #2 arrived.  I was excited to have him, because he was another addition.  What brought me out of it was wondering how they would be different - and belive me they are night and day different.  Even from the start night and day different.  The only thing that made it a little bad was his birth was horrible - it was fast, hard and hurt (no drugs because it was so fast).  It was hard to bond after feeling disconnected during pregnancy and then that birth - it was hard to feel the closeness and connection that I had with my first.  But I loved him.  I cried when I held him and looked into that round little face.  Don't be too hard on yourself about being unfair to this little guy.  Once he's here, you'll feel it all and see it all through brand new eyes again - because each child you have is special.....PS - I'm on my 3RD BOY!  I so wanted a girl this time, but it's not in God's plan for our family.  Apparently we are a football team in the making - lol!  You'll find that joy you felt before, cut yourself some slack and no you are not alone.  :)
Oh it's so nice to hear that I'm not the only one feeling like this. I thought that there was something wrong with me,mentally because of the way I was feeling, I am however on my second girl and they will be 27 months apart. My husband as well wanted another one right away and I don't think I was ready physially or mentally but I knew I wanted another one just not so soon. I am trying to get excited about it, but it's not that easy as you know. All I do is keep reminding myself that the new baby is an individual and deserves that same excitement, because after all they do feel what you feel, it's hard but ust hang in there. Good luck!
OMG Thanks so  much for taking time answering my question. I feel better knowing I am not alone... I try so hard to really psyche myself out and be more excited with baby #2. I sssoooo wanted to have a baby girl even with the first pregnancy but ALAS God has other plans for my family.I am dealing with the disappointment of having another boy. And I keep telling myself it will be different once I see Baby#2 face to face.. I hope you are all right... It sucks being a mom and you feel like you prefer one child from the other... I promised myself i will be more fair and loving to both boys and will try to raise them equally as possible. Thanks so much and i feel better ;-)

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