1. Your friends might think Oscar is cool, but my friends are going to think it's weird.
2. If Great-Aunt Myrtle or Grandpa Armando asks you to name me after them, just say no.
3. Fifi? That might not make it in law school.
4. Frances? That might not make it in nursery school.
5. Pete? Fine, but I have news for you: I'm a girl.
6. If you name me Chastity or Prudence, I will make you pay for it when I'm a teenager.
7. Don't make me spell out Jusstyn for the rest of my life when Justin will do just fine.
8. And please don't make me tell people that, yes, I am aware that my initials are D.O.G.
9. What do I want to be named? Barbie or maybe The Incredible Hulk.
10. My favorite name of all time? When you cuddle me in your arms and call me the love of your life.