2. Visiting your skinniest, most weight-conscious girlfriend, stepping onto her newfangled electronic scale, and hearing it announce loudly enough for everyone outside the bathroom to hear: "You weigh 184 pounds!"
3. Finally escaping for a dinner out with your husband and a few of his colleagues, and falling asleep before dessert arrives.
4. Finally escaping for a lunch out with your closest (childless) girlfriend and forgetting that not everyone can eat a grilled-cheese sandwich and talk about poop at the same time.
5. Discreetly breastfeeding the baby, discreetly burping the baby, discreetly changing her diaper -- and realizing 20 minutes later that your blouse is still unbuttoned.
6. Spying on the babysitter...and getting caught.
7. Eating the baby's mashed peas...and getting caught.
8. Calling your husband, your sister, your next-door neighbor -- everybody -- by the baby's name.
9. Back at work, glancing down at your blouse in the middle of a big meeting and finding two wet spots the size of dinner plates.
10. Inviting the relatives from out of town over to admire the baby -- and listening to him scream for the entire four hours they're there.