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Girl Talk: Lucky Genes?

Q. I don't quite know how to ask this in a family magazine, but my baby boy seems unusually well-endowed. It can't be genetic because his dad isn't exactly gifted in that area. Could something be wrong or is he just lucky? Is it weird that I'm even noticing this?

A. I don't quite know how to answer this in a family magazine, but I'll try to rise to the occasion. First of all, don't worry about taking notice of your son's penis. From the sound of it, it would be all but impossible not to notice. Second, it's not uncommon for any new mom to feel a bit strange about seeing, cleaning, and caring for her son's private parts, whatever their size. I can tell you that in time you'll be completely oblivious to your son's penis and take no notice of it, even when he's jumping naked on his bed and pointing to himself while shouting "PE-nis!" (Don't ask me how I know this.)

As for whether your son is normal, I would say that if your pediatrician hasn't mentioned it, then a big penis is not a big problem. (You can bet that if your husband were the one with the ginormous johnson, he'd be thinking, "If that's wrong, I don't want to be right.")

Now, I'm no geneticist, but I do remember from high school biology that everyone is a product of dominant and recessive genes, which are passed on by both parents. In other words, just because your husband emerged from his gene pool with shrinkage doesn't mean that his son would necessarily follow suit. Who knows? The bulk of your son's genetic code might be written by your family's male members, if you will.

But why bother to figure out who in the family tree has the biggest branch? (Unless, of course, your husband wants to know where to send the thank-you note.) The long and short of it is that your baby is largely happy and healthy, and that's the only size that matters.