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The New-Mom Award

Ever think that you should be given a medal just for getting through the day? So do we. If any ten of the statements below apply to you, you deserve something engraved. Tell your hubby we said so.

1.You did not scream "Are you out of your mind!?!" when your childless friend asked if you'd read that newspaper article on the national debt.

2.There is not one Cheerio on the floor of your home. (Well, not that you know of.)

3. You have a complete change of clean clothes on today, socks and underwear included.

4. You did not scream "Are you out of your mind!?!" when your husband asked when you might start cooking again.

5. You managed to laugh when the baby threw up in the supermarket checkout line.

6. You did not punch the stranger behind you who scolded (as the baby was throwing up!) that he should have a sun hat on.

7. You have tissues, toilet paper, paper towels, and diapers in your home at the same time.

8. You have no visible roots.

9. You took the baby out for the day and forgot nothing-not even sunscreen or that *&$@! sun hat.

10. Your baby watched only one video (twice) today.

11. You had no wine today, not counting four or five gulps from your husband's glass.

12. One person in your home has their hair brushed.

13. You smiled reassuringly (okay: you didn't cry) when the baby dropped your cell phone into the toilet.

14. You did not scream "Are you out of your mind!?!" when a stranger asked if you were expecting again. (No credit if what you actually said was "No, I'm just fat," then enjoyed the humiliated apology.)

15. You haven't mixed up your kids once today.

16. Channeling your inner 2-year-old, you simply said "No" when a neighbor asked if you could watch her kids while she went to yoga.

17. You shaved!

18. You reinvented something today  -- e.g., a sock as a burp cloth. And yes, it was clean.

19. You haven't said a swear word in 12 hours. (Oops! Except for the one in No. 9.)

20. Choose one of the following. (If you can choose two, you are a saint and therefore overqualified for this award.)
a. There is a bowl of fresh fruit on your countertop.
b. You have stuffed yourself into your pre-baby jeans and worn them for at least an hour without fainting.
c. You have not stepped on a Binky, vomit, or anything sticky today.
d. You and your children have napped at the same time. (If so, please write and tell us how you accomplished this.)

Extra credit (worth serious bling): You found a moment today to thank your lucky stars that you have a family you love so much.

Nancy Brooke Smith, Babytalk's art director, is the mother of two daughters.

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