You are here


Last night I dreamt that I was artificially inseminated. Correction — I artificially inseminated myself.

I was at a spa type of resort, and a big lady there handed me a bowl of my husband's sperm along with a turkey baster contraption (actually it looked a bit like the devices you use to insert Monistat). Then she directed me to a not-so-private sauna/Jacuzzi area to go squirt the stuff up there.

I felt weird about it, as though the other people at the spa would think this was strange, but it was what I was supposed to do, so I did it, hoping nobody was watching.

I briefly entertained the notion that the lady could have given me the wrong sperm and I might have just inseminated myself with sperm that wasn't my husband's, but I quickly dismissed the idea, thinking that was unlikely.

That's all I remember.

Well, actually, then I remember the next scene of my dream with Gwyneth Paltrow, talking with her about her hair. But that didn't have anything to do with getting pregnant.