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Q&A With Honest Toddler

Courtesy HonestToddler/Twitter

@HonestToddler has taken the Twittersphere by storm. His identity is unknown and he hides behind a deceptively earnest pen name. He speaks for our children and calls all parents out with such precision that we can’t help but laugh (and cry a little) wondering if he could possibly be our very own child with a Twitter account. Who is Honest Toddler? Like the famed underground street artist Banksy, HT is prolific, subversive, and everywhere, reminding us just how powerless we parents truly are…and how awesomely fun that actually is. We caught up with him/her over e-mail. Plus: read our round-up of Honest Toddler’s funniest tweets.

Sabrina James: Honest Toddler, you are the voice of your generation! How does that make you feel?
Honest Toddler: I'm not sure. It makes me happy that people are listening to toddlers, but sad that I am cooperating.

SJ: How old are you?
HT: This many.

SJ: Are you a boy or girl?
HT: That one.

SJ: What is your name?
HT: "Come here right now."

SJ: What made you decide to start your blog and Twitter account?
HT: An outlet. An outlet that won't make fire if put a plastic fork in it.

SJ: What do you do when you are not tweeting?
HT: Playing, forced sleep, forced eating, running fast.

SJ: Where do you live?
HT: On a street with several cars, six or seven trees and plenty of ants.

SJ: How do you get what you want from your parents?
HT: Ask over and over until they are mentally fatigued and emotionally crippled.

SJ: What are the three words you would use to describe your mom?
HT: Mom: Rules, Secret Chocolate, Hugs

SJ: What are your favorite things about your dad?
HT: Daddy is wonderful at games, throwing me in the air, and being a giant. He could work on accepting the fact that the big bed is mine also. 

SJ: Describe what you picture as the perfect mom and dad.
HT: They would be generous with cake for sure.

SJ: Why are you always anxious to have your dad come home, often tweeting him to tattle on your mom?
HT: I have no recollection of that. 

SJ: What is it about co-sleeping you love?
HT: The cozy.

SJ: What do you want to be when you grow up?
HT: Powerful.

SJ: You have mentioned an older sibling, does he/she have the same attitude as you?
HT: My sibling is powerful, but I am increasing in power daily.

SJ: Can you share your observations on the following topics?
HT: Moms’ Nights Out: Terrible
Parent Drinks (cocktails): Terrible use of house fruit
Kids fashion: We are not Christmas trees. Ridiculous.
TV shows: Best is Aurthur because I love reggaeton. Worst is Curious George because I don't like how he thinks he's people. 
Instagram: For showing off while pretending to be Laura Ingalls Wilder
Pinterest: For showing off while pretending to be Martha Stewart
Facebook: For showing off to your "friends"

SJ: What would you wear every day if you could?
HT: Naked.

Thanks, Honest Toddler! Be sure to read our round-up of his best tweets.