In the April issue of More magazine, Bridget Moynahan confides that she was completely scared and overwhelmed by single motherhood at first. Well, considering she went through her pregnancy alone, I know where she is coming from. Since the actress has always had irregular periods, she tells More: “It was a complete surprise!” Tom Brady who left Bridget for supermodel, Gisele, was at the hospital, but not in the delivery room when she delivered Jack. (I delivered JD with my mom at my side. JD or Jack Domenic is named after her—Jacklyn.)
Bridget reveals to the magazine that she “hyperventilated” after giving birth and grew quite anxious when her parents who came to LA from Massachusetts had to leave after helping her with Jack for about a month. “Every time my dad mentioned he had to go, I’d start crying,” she says.
I so get this. But, I’ll be honest, the overwhelming feelings didn’t really hit me until JD was about two or three (maybe it's the sense of being single all these years). When he was a newborn, I wanted to do everything by myself and I loved every minute of it (and still do!). He smelled like powder and oatmeal, he peed on me, slept on my chest, leaves crinkled under the wheels of the stroller on our long walks and we went to museums where JD napped and I searched for inspiration—ah, pure bliss.
But anxiety does creep up—more than ever these days. JD once spiked 105 fever in the middle of the night. I called my best friend who also happened to live downstairs. I knew what to do—give him Tylenol and put him in a luke-warm bath, but still, it was so scary to be ALONE. There are days when JD will not cooperate and get dressed (think running around naked with my mascara tube in his hand telling me to "Go away, Mommy!"), but I have to work and get him to school—no one to help. I take a deep breath and sing the “let’s-get-dressed-like-a-super-hero” (don’t ask!) song. There are personal financial questions we all have to make, but I don’t have a partner to consult with—so I hired a financial advisor. What I’m saying is, yeah, sometimes I cry my eyes out, have a panic attack and deal with overwhelming moments, but like Bridget told More, “There’s not a second that I regret having a child on my own.”
JD is not the source of my anxiety. He is the hope and pride in all of my days. Let’s all take a big (bigger) deep breath, single moms. XO
Discuss. Have a great weekend!