I quit. I gave up. Nothing was good enough. I threw in the towel. I cried for help.
As you know JD was diagnosed with Scarlet Fever on Sunday. My mom planned to come up from the shore on Monday to help out, but then my Ped advised against it. My mom is 63 and is not in the best health to begin with, so exposing her to Scarlet Fever was not the smartest idea. At this point I had a dull sore throat, a raging headache and a very sick little boy. My anxiety was an 11 out of 10. I was alone. My father, a Cancer survivor and also in his 60’s dropped off groceries, soup and a toy for JD, but I didn’t let him stay either.
By Sunday night my throat was on FIRE. I felt like someone knifed me. I had a 101 fever and a little boy covered in a rash. I got two doses of antibiotics in him, so on Monday morning my Dad came back and stayed with him while I rushed to an emergency care doctor’s office in my town. I could barely drive there. My head was pounding, my eyes were watering, I couldn’t swallow and my fever was under control because I had Motrin in me. The doctor I saw spent five minutes with me (and 20 minutes typing whatever into her computer) and did a rapid Strep test. It was negative as MOST RAPID STREP TESTS ARE. She sent me home with “Magic Mouthwash” (a rinse that numbs the throat—um OK). My pain was unbelievable, unreal and now JD was perked up because he had three doses of antibiotics in him. My Dad left, because he had an appointment. I was left alone with JD. I was so sick, panicked, but I had to be a mom—a sick mom. I made JD soup. He napped and I napped. Then I brought his toys in my room and he played while I lay limp in my bed. I was up all night on Monday night. I almost caved and went to the ER. Wish I was kidding.
I went to my doctor on Tuesday, JD in tow (I had no one to watch him). He took one look at my throat and diagnosed me with Strep. There was (sorry) puss in my throat. I could barely hold my head up. On the way home, I cried into the phone to my Mommy (yes, Mommy): "You have to come and sleep over. I can’t take care of JD. I need to sleep. I’m in so much pain. I need help." I dragged JD into the pharmacy with me and got my meds.
My Mommy arrived two hours later (which is the approx commute from her place to mine). I dove into my bed when she arrived and didn’t surface until I smelled meatballs cooking. I walked out of my room to find her eating with JD. I had a gingerale and some crackers. I was in pain, but having someone to help with JD made 99% of the pain go away. I felt so guilty I couldn’t play with him, engage him, be his happy, healthy Mommy, but I quit, I gave up. I threw in the towel. Strep kicked my a*s. This is something single parents with NO HELP from the other parent have to deal with—it sucks. It's like rain on your wedding day, a fly in your soup, and every other crappy thing you can imagine. And it makes the absent parent look like a giant a*shole. Huff!!!
I got my Zpack on Tuesday and as I type this blog I can swallow again—I'm 3 pills in. My energy is somewhat renewed. I read to JD tonight. And my Mommy is still here. Company is lovely.
Who helps you when you’re sick? Does your ex help at all?