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Stuff My Kid Destroys: The Blackberry Edition

Saturday was totally uneventful. We woke up, made pancakes, played with blocks and cars and watched cartoons in our jammies. The sun was shining and it was nearly 50 degrees out, so JD and I ventured into the courtyard of our condo with a ball, some Matchbox Cars and a big CAT truck. Our friends Dustin and Riley saw us from their window and came out, too. The sun was warm. The air was fresh. The kids were playing nicely. Ah, just what I needed. I had no desire to run errands, work or clean the bathroom—I just wanted to chill. After an hour we went inside…

I made grilled cheese and tomato sandwiches on wheat and steamed up a bag of edemame in the microwave. JD and I had lunch. I read him three books and he went down for a nap. I poured myself a glass of water and threw a cucumber and lemon slice in and headed into my bedroom where I plopped on my bed and relaxed. I sipped my fragrant water while a vanilla candle burned. Ahhhhhhhhh. Sunspots were on my bed from the blinds. Ahhhhhhhhh. I watched bad TV. Ahhhhhhhhh. I did this for two hours, then JD woke up and came running into my room. He's so cute, warm and snuggly when he wakes up. He usually gives me a “huggie” and asks for “juicy.”

Instead he picked up my Blackberry from my nightstand and submerged it into my lemon-cucumber water. Out of nowhere.

I did not yell. I had a, did-that-just-happen-slow-motion-moment.

I jumped up and grabbed the phone and dried it with a towel. Then I opened it and dried it some more. Then I realized it was on but not responding. I tried to reboot. Not happening. MAD.

“Why did you do that?” I asked JD.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“It’s not cool bud,” I said. “Here’s your juice. Go sit down. You can’t put mom’s phone in a cup of water.”

I Facebooked Dustin to come down. He did and told me to put my phone in rice and wait 48 hours. I looked at him like he was speaking Chinese in a pink prom dress.

I bought a new Blackberry forty-minutes later.

I don't have a landline. I am a single mother with a kid - what if I needed to call 911 or the pizza guy!? I run my freelancing business off my phone. I was legitimately freaking out over not having a phone at my disposal. This is who I am.

My other phone is still chilling in brown rice. It better fix it, because I could have enjoyed that rice with some peas and red peppers.

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