Yesterday, I blogged about a horrific crime in North Jersey. Last night, when JD fell asleep I looked over the local paper while drinking some tea to see if there were any more developments—not really, but I did see that the town where the family lived was putting together a flier that will go out to area schools encouraging parents under stress to seek help from mental health agencies, religious groups and other resources. As a single mom I can relate to feeling stressed. I think any parent can! After the jump I’m going to share some things that stress me out sometimes.
JD is aware he doesn’t have a father. It’s heartbreaking. I can advocate for single moms on this blog all I want, but I still have to admit, I’m stressed out over the fact that JD will randomly say things like, “Birdies don’t have daddies.” Once he asked if he had a daddy.
The thought of my son’s father, wife and their son playing at the park induces many emotions. I don’t want to think about this, but I do. How could I not?
I’m a freelance writer. This means my income is unpredictable. Some months are strong, some are weak-ish. Even though I have money saved, I still worry about losing all of my freelance gigs and not being able to file for unemployment because I’m self-employed.
I kind of want to go to nursing school. I know you are all probably shocked, but there’s a big caretaker in me. I like helping people. I have a BS in Communications and 9 credits toward an MFA in Creative Writing. Going to nursing school seems so, so, so off course and I don’t even know where to start, other than…google. As a single mom, do I have time for nursing school!? AHHHHH
My lease on my Jeep is up (I got it when JD was one month old). I am conflicted about financing the buy-out or leasing a new SUV all together. If I finance it and own it will I be able to sell it down the road? Will I give it to JD on his 17th birthday? Is leasing another SUV throwing money away?
The holidays are coming and my parents are divorced. My dad has a girlfriend (who I like and trust) but my mom is single and sad. Thanksgiving and Christmas need to be strategically planned to avoid hurt feelings all around, but really, I’m the person with the three-year-old who wants to play with his new toys all day and eat Christmas cookies for dinner!
I want to get married. And have another kid. There I said it! This seems impossible.
Now as much as the above things occasionally stress me out when they pop into my head, I have to be honest, the thoughts are fleeting. Every, single stressor has an answer. There is a deep breath and a moment of silence that brings reason, simple reason to everything.
I can’t help JD’s father refuses to come to NJ and meet him. I’ve extended the invitation. When I told him I’d come to Indiana, his response was not warm. So, I’ll continue to be the best I can for JD, answer his daddy questions with simple answers and make sure he gets guy time in with my dad and brothers.
When my son’s father’s family pops into my head, I think about JD and myself on the Disney Cruise. It’s a tactic. It’s something I go to. It makes me smile.
I always freak out about work. And things always work out. Plus, like I said, I have a stash saved. I’d like to thank boring Saturday nights and The Suze Orman show for this. Seriously. That Can I afford it segment changed my life.
I have a mom friend in my building that is a nurse. Her son’s name is Jack! All I have to do is invite her up for coffee and pick her brain. Then apply to nursing school. Graduate. And get a job.
Stressing about a car is dumb. In January when my lease is up, I will have a car regardless. Maybe I’ll keep my Jeep, maybe I’ll lease something new. But, the bottom line is, JD and I are not going to be walking around NJ with our thumbs in the air.
I can’t help that my parents are divorced or that my mom is sad. My focus for the holidays is my son. I will eat turkey and lasagna and open presents with whoever wants to happily and willingly participate. End of story.
Maybe one day I’ll get married. I guess going on a date is a step in the right direction.
My point is, we are all under stress (some more than others!), but if we evaluate the stress in our lives, we can all overcome it or at least put it in perspective. For instance, I do this exercise now when I’m stressed, where I say to myself, “What do you need to get through the next fifteen minutes?” Sometimes it’s coffee. Sometimes it’s a hug from JD. Sometimes standing on the balcony of my condo and getting fresh air. I am healthy. My son is healthy. We love each other a lot. We have food and clothes. We have 8 painted pumpkins in our happy house! Perspective.
Please share some of your current stressors, then examine how you can make it better! Have a nice weekend! I’m pumped to take JD to his school’s Fall Festival and hit up Home Goods at some point. Ha! Big weekend!