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All Hallows Eve

It’s Halloween Day and all signs point to my kids dressing up as pirates tonight. They might not think they’re going to be pirates, but I make the signs and the signs point to them dressing up in the dad-gum costumes I made for them, me hearties. ARRR!

Every year we decide way too far in advance what the kids will wear for their costumes, and every year they change their minds a bazillion times. When I go to buy the actual raw materials for the costumes, I line them up against the wall and beseech Laylee and Magoo in the strongest terms possible to assure me that this is their last and final costume choice for the year, that they will, in fact, wear whatever it is I’m making them once the fabric store lady cuts the fabric for me to take home.

Then begins a little game I like to call Let’s Change Our Minds Two Dozen Times and Eventually Beg Our Mom to Let Us Wear Sheets on Our Heads for Halloween Instead of the $4,000,000 Costumes She Just Spent 3 Weeks Making in Her Halloween Sweatshop. If I’m really fed up with the costume I’m making, I may allow them to wear the sheets on their heads and save the fabric and patterns for another year. If I’m more fed up with the kids than the sewing project, then I make them wear what they swore unto me with an oath they would wear just short weeks earlier.

This year they were both 100% sold on being pirates until about a week after my catastrophic trip to JoAnn. Then they wanted to be a knight, a dragon, a ballerina, and most recently a kid wearing a used Batman costume 2 sizes too big that’s been worn so much by Magoo already that it has stuff spilled all over the pecks in a way that makes it look like Batman got a little motion sick last time he was out for a spin around Gotham.

But I’ve stood my ground, slowly dropping one piece at a time from the insanity that was my original costume plan but holding fast to the pirate motif. So Wednesday, Laylee comes in with a t-shirt and a tank top over her pirate skirt and says she thinks she likes this look better than the satin top with 800 pieces I was in the process of making. Again, sticking with the pirate theme…ARRRR!

Who knows? I’ll just be happy if we all live through the night without anyone going into a sugar-induced coma…until bedtime, at which point I authorize a very mild coma, a coma that ends 10-12 hours later. Next year I’ll start with the sheets and tell them to be creative.

Ooh. And if you don’t know what to do about your kids and all that candy, check out how I’m in cahoots with The Halloween Witch to make the whole problem just disappear…

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