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Baby's First Tattletale

Wanda's life so far has been full of firsts. She rolled over for the first time at almost 2 months of age. She barfed in my eye for the first time. She's had her first case of strep throat and her first 2 ear infections. Last week she tried her first solid foods. She's worn her first fancy gown and had her first of many poo-splosions. A couple of firsts we're waiting on are first steps, first tooth and first eye roll. The other two kids have mastered all of those.

One first I was not expecting so soon was baby girl's first tattletale. It came from the direction of Magoo and it involved a certain beloved stuffed Disney character.

I sat the two kids down next to each other on the couch to watch a movie. Actually Magoo was watching a movie and I thought it would look cute if I propped Wanda up next to him like a doll and took a picture because – why have children if you can't pose and take cute pictures of them? He thought it was funny to have her there beside him until she grabbed hold of one of his most beloved plush friends.

"Mo-om!" he whined, "She's licking and sucking on Master Shifu!"

"It's okay dude."

"No. It's not. She's licking and sucking all over him!"

I spouted some stuff about her being, I don't know, um, an INFANT for Pete's sake and he huffed and crossed his arms and went back to his movie. If he knew how to say, "What. Ever!" like a pouting teenage girl, he would have.

I'm a bit baffled by this. Wanda's his little baby. He loves her more than anybody. Yet somehow there's a force of sibling nature stronger than any bond that causes him to find something his sister is doing wrong and come running to Mommy about it.

What's more annoying than whiny tattling? I'll tell you. The answer is "nothing."

Dan and I have been guessing how long it would take for the kids to start being twerked off by their little angel baby of sweetness. The answer is "six months."

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