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Chairing the Parent/Teacher Conference

It is that time of year already. It is time for the parent/teacher conference. I had mine at the crack of dawn before school yesterday. Early. It was still dark outside, and I only had time for one cup of coffee before I had to be there. Again, it was very early. I don’t really do well with early, but that is not the point.

I have a confession to make when it comes to these conferences: I don’t like them. Hear me out so you don’t misunderstand me. My kids are good and smart kids. They don’t cause problems. They are usually the quiet ones in class. They are in the accelerated program. They do their homework and, let’s face it, in second grade there is not a lot to discuss when that is the type of child you have. So, it is not like I am going into these conferences sweating whether or not she will pass or fail.

No, I go in dreading one thing: those itty bitty, teeny tiny, doll house-sized chairs they make me sit in to have these discussions.

Seriously? I am all for giving parents a feel for what the kids go through in a day but to make me sit in a chair that, frankly, my butt outgrew in the pre-Reagan era is just mean.

“She demonstrates a great ability to grasp new math concepts…”

Oh my goodness, did the chair just groan?

“Her reading is well above what we expect at this time in this grade...”

I swear I heard it moan in protest. Maybe if I shift my weight a bit.

“In fact, I have encouraged her to check out higher level books from the library…”

Did the chair just move? Was that a shift? Oh, no! If I break the chair I will always be the mom who broke the chair in second grade.

“She is so quiet, I do worry about her not standing up for herself at times with the class bully...”

That does it. Now I know the chair cried out in pain. What do I do?

“Overall, she is doing great and you have a very well-adjusted, smart girl on your hands.”

Holy creak, Batman, what if I get stuck in this chair and it doesn’t break and I have to walk out of the school with a chair stuck to my butt?! I know I would never be able to live that one down.

“Do you have any questions?”

“Yes. Do these chairs come in a large?”

All I can say is thank goodness my daughter is not failing, struggling, or having a rough time at school or I may never know it. Next time? I am totally bringing my own chair.


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