I consider myself a pretty together person when I'm not being pulled in 15 directions and not being criticized for my choices. Blogging gives me an opportunity to just be me and not worry about what others think, but I realized today that I need to truly come out of the proverbial closet.
I've beat up on myself for years because my house is not, and will probably never be, as perfect as my parent's. There, everything has its place. All the rooms have specific décor, and there's even a forbidden room. Can you imagine? How big will my house have to be before I have parts of it I don't live in? I thought I had gotten over my feelings of inadequacy since I haven't lived at home for 17 years now. But the feelings return when my parents are on their way to visit — which they will be tomorrow. I would be lying if I said I didn't plan to hustle as soon as the kids are done with school and stay up until the wee hours of the morning trying to make my house presentable.
But this time, thanks to a wonderful conversation I had with the editors of Parenting.com, I realize I don't need to always have answers when I blog. Matter of fact, I think I need to acknowledge that the questions people ask me are legitimate and that they often remain unanswered.
1. What do you do with the baby while you're teaching?
These are the pancake-mix-covered pants that Lil Baby took off after he stood on the kitchen table and took a bath in the mix while we were doing a lesson.
2. How do you stay so organized to get so much done — writing, teaching, ministry?
The other side of the office is also very organized:
3. How do you organize your homeschool in the midst of five kids?
4. What records do you keep and how much do you keep for each kid?
The file cabinets are under there somewhere...
Now I am out of the closet. I often have advice to give because I've lived through much. But I also have mess and disarray because I'm still living through much. Fortunately, these days, I have less stress, more joy.
Also, my readers are the only ones who think I have it together. Mom wouldn't agree.
Me: "It's been a little stressful this week, so I'm going to need your help organizing some stuff. Please don't give me any grief." (We have some history.)
Mom: "You've needed help all of your life getting it together. This is nothing new. You should be embarrassed raising my grandkids...bla bla bla..." (I tuned out.)
Me: "Thanks for the help."
Glad she doesn't read this blog.