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I Am Too Tired Thanks To My Teen (and Ozzy Osbourne)

I am not a great sleeper. No. I must amend that. I am not a great nighttime sleeper. I am either working (having become so entrenched in writing, I don't realize it is 3:47 a.m. and I need to be in bed) or I start playing a video game because my children (a.k.a. the little gamer pushers) begged me to do one last Game Quest with them. As I see the sun rise, I ground them all for making me stay up all night. Because, you know, it is their entire fault. I am just the tired parent.

Then there are those nights that I try to go to bed (like a person not imitating a vampire) and read or do something soothing. I was almost there on Sunday night. I was actually sleepy. I was listening to my soothing, calm songs on my Zune. I am just about to start making out with Mr. Sandman. Suddenly, without any warning whatsoever, I hear Ozzy Osbourne scream out, "ALL ABOARD!" (That is the beginning of the song "Crazy Train" for those of you not in the know. My teen must have added it to my quick play list.)

After soiling myself, throwing the demon-possessed Zune across the room, hitting the floor to crawl under my bed, and then checking to make sure my heart was in fact still embedded in my chest, I brushed myself off and stared angrily at my bed. Gone were my sleepy and calm feelings. Even Mr. Sandman ditched my attempts to reconcile. I was officially awake.

I wandered into my family room where (of course) my teen was still awake. I mumbled something along the lines of, "What are you still doing awake?" but I think it came out more like, "'Crazy Train.' Tired. No making out with Mr. Sandman. Tired, so tired."

I attempted to read for a while then went back to bed.

The next evening the teen asked me if everything was okay.

I looked at him puzzled and asked why he was asking.

"You seem tired. Really tired."

"A little. I wouldn't say a lot. Why do you say there is a lot of tired? That makes it sound bad or extreme. I am fine. Why are you so all up in my grill? I need more coffee. Why are you accusing me of being so tired?"

"I found your cell phone in the refrigerator this morning."

"What? That? The milk was expecting a call."

Perhaps I need to look into some better bedtime and sleep routines. I cannot afford for the milk to keep up this cell phone affair.


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