As Dan walked out the door this morning he said, "I'll meet you at high noon," and naturally I started humming the theme to The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly, because although the theme to High Noon is very memorable, it's not as easy to hum. OOOeeOOOeeOOO Wah Wah Wah.
"Can you please just calm down?" Laylee asked me — one of many questions I fielded throughout the day.
Magoo, meanwhile, asked me to "Do it? Do it?" as he mimicked the side-to-side motion of his daddy's famous nose nuzzle. I chose not to "do it," considering Magoo had forgotten the NOSE part of the nuzzle and was tenderly shaking his tongue back and forth two inches in front of my face, while trying to pull my tongue out of my mouth. Nose? Tongue? They both stick out of your face. What's the difference?
I think my favorite question today came from Laylee. It was my favorite because it did not involve any whining, it was more than two syllables in length, it contained no saliva, and it proved that my indoctrination is wooooorking. "Do you wanna see all my moves?" she asked.
Of course like most children, she's asked some questions that were not so enjoyable. She's asked loudly about "the string" in public restrooms, shown more than passing interest in the "zebra stripes" I obtained when I was pregnant with Magoo, and very compassionately points and asks if my "owies" hurt when I'm having a particularly bad bout of midlife puberty on my face.
When Laylee was 2, a sweet OLD lady came up to us in a parking lot. She bent down so their faces were level and started making conversation with the piggy-tailed cutie, who looked up at her with the biggest stink-eye I've ever seen.
Sweet Lady: How old are you honey?
Sweet Lady: Aren't you a cutie!
Sweet Lady: Are you having fun with your mama?
Laylee [squinting up at her face]: Why aren't you dead yet?
Sweet Lady: What did she say?
Me: Who knows what she says half the time?
I then ushered Laylee quickly away and had a nice talk on a 2-year-old level about why it isn't polite to comment on the state of a person's facial degeneration in comparison to that of a rotting corpse.
Don't get me wrong. I love her inquisitive nature. I'd just prefer it not extend to asking embarrassing questions loudly in public.