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To My Darling Children Regarding Chores

Kathryn Thompson

Dearest Children,

Some questions have arisen recently with regards to chores and I thought I’d address your concerns in writing.

Regarding your question – Why do we have to do chores EVERY DAY?  We do chores every day because you trash the house every day.  If you stop eating, wearing clothes, playing with toys, using the bathroom and throwing your personal effects on the floor, the chores will cease.

For now, I caution you to carefully choose the time and place to begin a discussion about chores and their fairness.  For example, when I am currently scrubbing puddles of dried urine from the floor around your toilet, it’s probably not the best time to yell about how unfair it is that you have to pick up the books you were reading.  P.S.  My aim is better than yours and that’s probably not fair either.

When I was young, I remember me or one of my siblings tearfully telling my mom, “But Mom, I’m not like you, I don’t LIKE doing chores.”  She laughed at that comment.  To this day I’m not sure why but I’d like to tell you something similar.  I’m not like my mom.  I don’t LIKE doing chores.  That’s why I had kids, so I’d have someone to do all the work for me.  If you’re sick of doing chores, grow up and have your own kids.

Sometimes you ask me to have mercy and let you watch a movie or play outside before you get your chores done.  I rarely give in and I’ll tell you why.  Every time I give in and let you do something fun before work, you have a total meltdown when the fun is over and it’s time for chores to start.  If you could find it in your mental and emotional reserves to not go nuclear when it was chore time, I’d find it in my mental and emotional reserves to be more flexible with the scheduling. 

Speaking of scheduling, I will now clue you in to one of the great mysteries of successful time management – If you don’t take forever to do something, it won’t take forever to get it done.  It’s a simple principle, really.  If you move slower than a dead person, your chores will never be finished.  If, by contrast, you move your body, you may find that you have a couple of minutes left at the end of a grueling day of making your own bed to enjoy some leisure time.

I hope this has been helpful and enlightening.  Have a marvelous day in the trenches!

Love,

Mom

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