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Laboring Through Labor Day

No, I didn’t go into labor on Labor Day -- although that would have been downright adorable of me -- but I did spend the day laboring with Dan and the kids. We spent the whole weekend working our butts off and now that we have no butts, we are ready to plunge full-force into the school year.

I’m fairly sure the kids are excited to get out of this house of slave labor and back to school where they can spend more time eating snacks and playing with their friends. Whenever I ask Laylee to describe what they did at school, it always turns into a narrative of what they had for lunch and each snack, what she didn’t have time to eat and “Isn’t it weird that in first grade they time you when you eat?”

We got the house in order on Saturday with an all-day cleaning party. Every room was cleaned at the same time and no one passed out or completely revolted. We just worked like dogs. The kids got breaks now and then, and we periodically threw them a crust of bread. Dan DJ’d with Dixieland jazz and it really wasn’t that bad.

I even hung stuff up in the baby’s room and for the first time in our 3 children’s lives, one of them has an actual nursery to be brought home from the hospital to. Hoo-ray! What I love the most about it is that I put it together using things from around the house, garage sales, IKEA, and consignment stores. Including a new dresser, I only spent around $50 on the entire project and it’s really quite cute.

I stole the pastel-colored curtains and wall-hangings from Laylee and Magoo’s room and filled in the gaps with cheap white IKEA frames filled with cute wrapping paper cutouts. I got a crib bedding set at a consignment shop that matched the wall hangings perfectly for $10, and with a few garage sale finds it all came together nicely. I’m hoping that she’ll be so tempted by her new palatial suite that she’ll come out on her own before my induction next week. I would just love once to know what it feels like to “go into labor.” I don’t need to know what it feels like but it would be fun.

So since cleaning the house on Saturday, we’ve done an amazing thing. We’ve managed to keep it clean. So WEIRD. This is accomplished by having the kids pick up their own toys and trash (yes, my kids play with trash) every. single. time. they get something new out. I’ve decided I want to maintain this level of clean until the baby comes and all heck breaks loose. At least when the dam of heck is broken, my mom will be here to help police the young people. Maybe it will just stay clean forever. And maybe Laylee and Magoo will grow up hating me and my nagging, obnoxious self.

It’s nice that Dan has joined in the nagging and cleaning enforcement, so maybe they’ll only hate each of us a little…or they’ll hate both of us a lot and we’ll run away to a love nest on a tropical island somewhere where things just magically clean themselves. When our kids grow up, get married, and have filthy little dirt generators of their own, they will grow to truly appreciate us and our nagging ways, at which point, we will let them visit the island and only vote them off if they forget that we’re the best parents ever.