It's about time I admit to something. I. Hate. The. Way. I. Look. Now, I'm not throwing this out there because I want a pity party or anything. I'm hoping that putting the words on "paper," in black and white, will motivate me to actually do something about it, instead of talking about doing something about it.
So, here's how I got to where I am today. I call it the "Mommy Weight Trap™"(MWT). Formally defined, the MWT is when you are svelte before you get pregnant, don't lose all of the baby weight from baby #1 before getting pregnant with baby #2, and then gain a whole lotta weight with baby #2, before ending up with an unrecognizable rotund physique.
For those of you who prefer numbers, or who prefer to read scary, shocking, horror stories, I started out at x (what, you expected me to announce to the world how much I weighed?!?!?!), never lost the final 17 pounds from Lucas when I got pregnant with Justin, and now have 20 pounds to lose from Justin.
So how did I really get to this point? I'm not going to hang my hat solely on, "It's from having 2 babies," though I admit it was primarily from the MWT from having 2 babies! And lest you think that I secretly binge on cakes and cookies, I do not — I binge in public!!! No, seriously, I watch very much what I eat. And while many, many women gain the stated 25 to 35 pounds, pop out the baby and then spring back to their pre-baby weight, especially when breastfeeding, I, on the other hand, am a slave to hormones. Always have been and always will be.
I was diagnosed with severe PMS in my early 20's, and a possible diagnosis of PCOS in my late 20's (this latter diagnosis was never confirmed, though it is hormonally related and results in weight gain around the middle). And it turns out, when I got pregnant at 31, my body seemed to react as severely to the pregnancy hormonal changes as it does to the monthly menstrual hormonal changes. After I had Lucas, it seemed as if my body needed to hold on to the fat in order to keep pace with making milk. And I got pregnant with Justin 3½ months after I stopped nursing Lucas, which wasn't nearly enough time to lose the baby weight I held on to, which then catapulted me into the MWT. And even though I didn't do anything different when pregnant with Justin than I did when pregnant with Lucas, my body went wild, gaining a phenomenal amount of weight until I popped out a 9½-pound baby.
And what am I going to do about all of this? Well, admitting that I hate the way I look was the first step. The next, really huge step, actually leap, I am taking is to train with hubby for a 100-mile bike race. Our goal is to be ready by June 2007 for a jaunt around Lake Tahoe, NV. Not only will I have my hubby for motivation, but periodically peering at all of my "thin clothes" hanging in my closet should also serve as inspiration.
So please stay tuned as I will continue to update you all regarding my progress. And please feel free to share your inspirational baby weight loss stories — I would love to know how some of you won the struggle against the MWT.