Laylee’s been a bit of a snoot lately. Not all the time, and not in all ways, but in some ways and at some times, she has been acting snooty -- sort of prissy and superior.
Rather than walking, she often glides, with her head tilted to the side and a dreamy expression on her face. Her hands are held out to the sides, her fingers held at an angle similar to Barbie’s hands.
Then there’s the singing. As she goes about her day, it is with a warbling, atonal vibrato. She twitters and hums ala Snow White’s less talented friend Zelda. It’s a happy noise but not necessarily a pleasant one.
So the other day she asked me, “Have you noticed that I’ve been acting a lot like a princess lately?”
“Yeah. I sure have.”
“Well,” she continued sheepishly, “It’s because I have a dream and I don’t think you’ll like it. I dream that I’m really a princess and that someday someone will come and take me away to live in a house that’s a lot nicer than this one because it’s called a castle.”
“That sounds like a nice dream,” I said. “Can I come live in this castle with you?”
“Well, to live in a castle you have to act like a princess which has several steps. The first one you’ve got DOWN, which is being kind to everyone.”
“Oh, thanks Laylee.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Well, the next one is you have to try and look beautiful every day.” She grimaced.
“Oh. So I guess I need to work on that one?”
So apparently my yoga pants and ponytailed hair do not qualify as beautiful. Who knew? I guess I could work on that. Laylee tries to wear skirts, tights, and shiny things every day and frequently embellishes the hairdos I give her with a little bling or flounce. I do not do these things, thus rendering me ineligible for palace life.
I can work on it though. I think with some coaching and a few strategic purchases, I could step my beauty quotient up a notch. I’m not so sure about step three.
Apparently step three is to sing like a princess all the time. If “singing like a princess” means engaging in the type of noise production I’ve been hearing from Laylee these last few days, I’m afraid I’ll have to concede that I am just not princess material. I can sing. I can even hum, but warbling is beyond my present and, I believe, future capabilities.
I like Laylee though, and I hope kind commoners like myself are allowed to visit the castle from time to time.